


This Time Around

by cranperryjuice



Category: 1TYM, Big Bang (Band), YG Entertainment | YG Family
Genre: M/M, Slow Burn, a messy apartment as a metaphor for Teddy's state of mind, look I have no idea why this fic contains so much Starbucks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-10
Updated: 2020-10-10
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:13:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 28,763
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26938723
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cranperryjuice/pseuds/cranperryjuice
Summary: Teddy slowly straightens his life out.
Relationships: Dong Youngbae |Taeyang/Park Hongjun | Teddy Park
Kudos: 5





	This Time Around

**Author's Note:**

> Written in 2010.  
> For context: This was written after Taeyang spoke about being kinda depressed and living with Teddy.

It all started with Boss.

Young Bae walked into the studio with the small dog trailing behind him, straining against his leash to sniff at the doorframe. Teddy watched amusedly as Young Bae gave him a minute to nose around, then clearly lost his patience and bent down to scoop him up into his arms. "Do you mind if he stays here?"

"Nah, it's fine." Teddy replied, spinning his chair to face the console again. "Got your lyrics?"

"Yes." There were two dull thumps, and when Teddy glanced back, the dog and Young Bae's bag were side by side on the sofa. "Get some sleep," he murmured to Boss, then kissed him on the top of the head before rifling through his bag. He retrieved a wrinkled sheet and pulled another computer chair over.

Teddy rolled himself closer to the console and made sure everything was ready for recording. They'd talked everything out and recorded a couple of working versions already - the final version wouldn't take too long. Not that Teddy really minded either way. Young Bae was easy to work with.

"I'm ready," Teddy said, smiling as he nodded toward the booth. "Get in there." He put his headphones on and Young Bae stepped into the booth. He put his lyrics on the music stand, stared at them, then leaned forward to speak into the microphone.

Teddy flicked it on a second too late. "--again."

He frowned and waited for Young Bae to get his headphones on before speaking into his own microphone. "What?"

"Say it again. The intro."

Teddy nodded and recited the short English intro. They'd been over it enough times that he'd learned it by heart long ago. Young Bae watched him intently, one hand pressed against his headphones, then nodded. "Okay. I'm ready."

Teddy started the music. It kept surprising him to hear Young Bae parrot his tone of voice, inflection and pronunciation, and he found himself grinning as he listened to him. It was always easy to tell who he'd been hanging out with just from the way he spoke English - he sounded like Perry after vocal training sessions with him, and he sounded like Shaun after asking him to help out with his lines for Big Bang's Japanese albums. The way he sang changed depending on which artists he was currently interested in, too. He'd make a pretty good mimic if he ever got tired of the pop music thing.

They worked for an hour or so, until Boss jumped to the floor, shook himself, and started sniffing around in a way Teddy recognized instantly. "I think your dog needs a walk," he said into the mic.

Young Bae blinked, then stood on tiptoe, trying to see him from the booth. He gave up after a second and walked out, smiling at Teddy sheepishly. "Sorry. Can we stop for ten minutes?"

"Yeah, sure." Teddy stretched out slowly as he watched him clip the leash back onto Boss's collar. "Gonna go get a coffee while you're gone."

"You should come with me instead," Young Bae said. "... I don't like the coffee from the machines here."

He had a point. "Me neither. Starbucks?" he suggested, standing up. The walk would do him some good, if the creaking noise from his knees was any indication.

"Okay. But you order," Young Bae said, then opened the door, letting Boss trot out first.

***

They walked slowly in the direction of the nearest Starbucks, stopping frequently to let Boss investigate bushes and bits of grass. Young Bae had pulled up his hood before stepping outside, but there weren't that many people around. Still, Teddy appreciated the precaution - he wasn't used to swarms of fans anymore. Being on hiatus for a few years would do that to any entertainer.

Although he tried not to spend too much time dwelling on it, he was starting to think he preferred the quiet life of a producer. He'd have to have that talk with the other members of 1TYM one of these days, but they'd been avoiding the subject for a while. They were all doing their own thing, at least for now.

He stopped again while Young Bae bagged Boss's poo and tossed it into the nearest trash can. "How many times a day d'you walk him?"

"Twice," he replied. "When I can. Sometimes my mother takes care of him." He stopped, but looked like he wanted to say something more. Teddy shot him an inquisitive look. "... I was wondering if you could take care of him when I'm too busy. Your apartment is closer to the studios than my parents' house. You like dogs, right?"

"Yeah, I do. Still miss Tyson sometimes." He'd had to give the tiny dog to his mother when he'd gotten too busy promoting and moving back and forth between Korea and the US to take proper care of him. He'd gotten sick and died a couple of years ago - the typical fate of the tiny little inbred dogs that were so popular here. At least Young Bae and Ji Yong had been smart enough to get healthy, normal-sized pups.

"Did he die?"

"Yeah. I'll take care of him, no problem. He's a good dog, yeah?"

Young Bae nodded, looking down at him. "Boss! You're a good dog, aren't you?"

Boss looked up, tail wagging, but quickly got distracted by a piece of trash on the sidewalk. Young Bae pulled him away from it and they walked on until they were standing under the familiar green sign. "A'ight, what do you wanna drink?"

Young Bae chewed on his lip and stared into the coffee shop for a few seconds. "... Green tea latte, please."

"Got it. I'll be back in a sec," Teddy said before heading inside. The smell of coffee and pastries hit him and he found himself eyeing the assortment of scones and muffins in front of him as he tried to decide what he wanted to drink.

He walked back out with Young Bae's latte, a caramel macchiato for himself and a couple of muffins in a paper bag. The odds that Young Bae would join him in his sugar binge were slim, but there was always someone in the studios who'd appreciate an unexpected snack if he wasn't interested. "Here ya go."

"Thank you." He smiled and cradled the cup in his hands, Boss's leash looped around his wrist. He gave the bag a curious glance but didn't ask. Hwang-honed discipline, no doubt. "We should go back and finish the song."

"Yeah. Couple more hours should do it."

Young Bae started walking again at the same slow pace, though, sipping his latte and letting Boss sniff around to his heart's content. Teddy followed, enjoying the cool evening air. He did need to get out of the studios more often - taking care of the dog wasn't a bad idea.

***

Young Bae had stared at the muffins for too long before finally breaking off a small piece of the blueberry one and pushing the rest toward Teddy. Teddy had pointedly left it right there on the desk, and Young Bae was making slow, steady progress on it, sneaking a piece or two whenever they took a break or had to stop and discuss something.

Teddy broke into a grin when Young Bae finally peeled the remnants of the muffin from its paper cup and popped them into his mouth. "Hey, you finished it," he said mockingly, clapping his hands a few times. He'd polished off his own double-chocolate muffin over an hour ago.

Young Bae laughed and licked a few crumbs off his thumb. "I was trying not to."

"You're a teenager, man, you need the calories."

"I'm not a teenager." He picked up a tiny crumb from the bottom of the paper cup, then leaned down, holding his hand at Boss's level. And he did have a point - Teddy found it difficult to notice how much people changed when he saw them almost every day, but the changes in Young Bae were obvious once he'd thought about it for a second. His newfound confidence suited him nicely.

"Yeah... Yeah, I know. Sorry. Guess I've known you for too long."

"It's okay," he said, straightening up once Boss was done licking every muffin molecule from his finger. "Jinu and Perry still call me 'kid', too." He wiped his hand on his jeans and leaned over the desk to peek into the empty paper bag.

"You still hungry? We could call for take-out," Teddy suggested.

Young Bae shook his head, as he'd expected. "We're almost done. I'll just wait for breakfast."

"A'ight. Let's finish up, then. I just wanna go over the bridge one last time."

He paused with his hand on the door that led to the booth. "Teddy? Is it okay if I take Boss to your place tomorrow?"

"Yeah, sure. Bring a couple of toys or a blanket or something, I don't want him to freak out 'cause he's in a weird place."

He smiled and nodded. "Thanks."

***

Teddy, as usual, got distracted by his work and the Internet once he got home. He alternated between working on a couple of tracks (for himself) and reading his favorite blogs, and the sun was up when he looked up from his monitor again. He sighed to himself and stretched his arms over his head, wincing at the assortment of pops and cracks that ensued.

He saved his work, took off his headphones, and checked his e-mail account one last time before bed. Nothing interesting there - he'd received a message from Kush a couple of hours ago, but it'd have to wait until he was feeling more motivated.

He stood up, rubbing his stinging eyes, and made his way to the bedroom. He'd stayed up long enough that he was asleep in minutes.

He woke up in a confused panic to the sounds of the doorbell and his cell phone ringing simultaneously. He grabbed his phone first, trying to blink the sleep from his eyes, and checked the text message. Young Bae was here with his dog.

He got out of bed, his heart still pounding, and buzzed Young Bae in. He didn't manage to do much besides stand there in a stupor before Young Bae knocked on his door. He was smiling, very awake, and carrying a bunch of crap in addition to Boss on his leash. "Good morning. Sorry for waking you up, but we're in a hurry."

"'S okay," Teddy managed to say, then cleared his throat. "You didn't have to bring all of that, I could've bought dog food and stuff at a pet shop."

"It's all right, our manager paid for it," Young Bae replied. He peered into the apartment and let out a quiet laugh. "Wow, your place is messy."

Teddy looked over his shoulder. He didn't really notice the clutter anymore, and he wasn't sure why he should care about it - it wasn't like he ever had guests over. Except Danny, who didn't really count as a guest and was responsible for a considerable part of the mess, anyway. He looked back at Young Bae and shrugged helplessly, then held out his arms.

There was a small bag of dog food, then two bowls, a couple of toys, and a small blanket that was already covered in black and white fur. Once his hands were free, Young Bae bent down and unclipped the leash from Boss's collar, then nudged him into the apartment. "Don't forget to walk him," he said as he draped the leash over Teddy's armload of dog stuff.

"I won't."

"Thanks! See you."

Another smile and he was gone. Teddy pushed the door closed with his hip and carried everything to the living room. After a moment of consideration, he dumped it all onto the couch, then filled one bowl with food and put it in a corner. The water bowl followed. He stashed the bag of food high enough for the dog not to reach it, spread out the blanket in a nice spot close to the bowls, and stepped back to admire his work.

Boss trotted past him, sniffed around, and went for the bowls. Teddy watched him gobble down his kibble for a moment, but his eyes were still burning and he felt too exhausted to care about cute animals. A glance at the VCR indicated he'd slept only for an hour or so. That explained it.

"Don't chew on anything," he muttered, then went back to bed.

***

Teddy greeted the new day by putting his foot down in a puddle of cold dog pee. He swore, loudly, then checked his alarm clock and realized he'd overslept - it was almost dinner time. The clicking noise of tiny claws against the floor announced Boss's arrival. Teddy thought he looked vaguely disapproving.

"Sorry, lil' guy," he said, then did his best to hobble to the bathroom without spreading pee everywhere. He was only mildly successful. A few paper towels took care of it, though - at least Boss was still pretty small.

He tried to remember where he'd put the cleaning products, tried to remember whether he even owned any, then gave up on the idea. It could wait until he'd eaten something. Or rather walked the dog and eaten something, because he wasn't interested in a repeat performance.

The walk jump-started his brain, and by the time he got back home (with a cup of coffee and a sandwich), he already had a few lines floating in his mind. He jotted them down, then decided, after taking a good look at his apartment, that taking Boss with him to the studios would be a better idea than leaving him there, at least until he'd dog-proofed the place.

Kush was already waiting for him when he finally got to his studio in YG's headquarters, with Boss in tow and the kibble, toys and blanket stuffed into a bag. "Are you babysitting?" he asked, clearly amused, as Teddy spread the blanket out on the sofa and plopped Boss down onto it.

"Yeah. Young Bae's too busy these days. You know how it is." He ruffled the short fur on top of Boss's head, then flopped down in his usual chair.

"I should've brought Macho along, I bet they miss each other."

"Bring him tomorrow, I think Boss is still gonna be here." Young Bae hadn't specified how long he wanted Teddy to keep him. It didn't really matter, since they saw each other in the studios nearly every day - he could just walk in and grab the dog whenever he wanted. Teddy kind of hoped he'd get to keep him for a couple more days, though. "Anyway, what was that track you wanted to work on?"

***

Dog-proofing his place took more time than he'd expected. It involved moving piles of things around, picking up all of the age-old fast-food containers that lay on the floor, a thorough search for sharp beer bottle caps, and more cable ties than he cared to think about.

Still, he'd gotten it all done, and the apartment looked a little better now. More of the floor was visible, anyway, and the area where he did most of his work (when he wasn't in the studios) looked less like a giant knot of dusty cables and more like a workstation.

Boss seemed impressed. Young Bae, when he dropped by to pick him up the following evening, didn't. "Oh, so it's always like this?" he said after another curious look over Teddy's shoulder, a smile spreading on his face. "I thought you'd just had a party or something..."

"Hey, I cleaned up just for Boss." He opened the door wider and nodded for Young Bae to come in. "You can leave the bowls and stuff here for next time."

"Okay. Can I use your bathroom?"

"Yeah, of course. It's that door." He wanted to add that Young Bae shouldn't bother taking off his shoes, but they were off already. He shook his head to himself and sat down at his somewhat-neater workplace again. He'd been working on a pretty good beat, if he said so himself, and he only needed to add a few finishing touches.

It was only much later, when he felt Boss plop down right by his feet next to the warm computer, that he realized Young Bae was still there. He pulled off his headphones, blinking, and looked around. Water was running in the kitchen. "... Young Bae?"

"Yes?"

"What are you doing?"

"The dishes."

Teddy stood up and walked over to the kitchen. Young Bae had both sleeves pulled up and was scrubbing determinedly at a pan Teddy had been refusing to even look at for a while. "You don't have to pay me back or anything, man. I like dogs."

"I know... I don't mind. I'm free tonight." He kept on scrubbing, and after a moment Teddy felt awkward enough about just standing there that he moved closer and picked up a dishtowel to dry the plates and glasses Young Bae had already washed. Young Bae smiled at him and lowered his head again, frowning as he continued his battle against whatever the hell was on the bottom of that pan.

"I found that stuck under a plate," he said eventually, one hand emerging from the soapy water to point to a still-wet plastic pick on the counter. "Do you play guitar?"

"Yeah. Bass, too."

"Really? I didn't know."

"I'm full of surprises."

He'd expected a laugh, but Young Bae only nodded. "We should hang out like this more often. We only ever talk about work."

"Sure," Teddy replied automatically. They got along well since they'd started working on Young Bae's solo songs together, and with the other 1TYM guys busy having lives, Teddy could use someone to chill with.

Someone to chill with who wasn't Kush, he mentally amended as he set a clean glass down on the counter. He was a nice guy, but his constant enthusiasm got kind of tiring after a while.

"So, what else is there?" Young Bae asked, taking Teddy off guard.

"What, dishes?"

"Surprises." He grinned. "You said you're full of them."

Teddy actually considered answering the question - there were a few things he could tell him, probably, but... "I can't just tell you all at once, man, that'd be pretty boring."

That got a quiet laugh out of him. "Okay." He dumped a handful of dirty utensils into the sink and went back to work.

***

It took only a couple of days before he saw Boss again. He'd fully expected to see Danny at the door, since he was prone to dropping by when he was bored late at night, but it was Young Bae standing there, holding the dog awkwardly in his arms. He was getting too big for that.

"I knew you'd be awake," he said, then set Boss down after a particularly determined wriggle on his part. "Do you want to walk Boss with me?"

Teddy blinked, watching Boss as he sniffed at his socks, tail wagging. "... Yeah, okay. Did you walk all the way here?" he asked, then turned around to hunt for his keys and a clean-ish hoodie.

"Yes. It's not that far," Young Bae replied, sounding a little defensive.

Teddy stepped into the nearest sneakers and shooed Boss out of the way before closing the door and locking it. "Guess not. Whaddya do today?"

"I had a photo shoot and... well, nothing special. You?"

"Same old. I worked on Wedding Dress."

Young Bae nodded but didn't say anything. No work talk, Teddy remembered, so he stayed silent on the way out of the building. Young Bae picked a seemingly random direction once they were outside and Teddy fell into step next to him, hands in the pockets of his hoodie.

"When did you start playing guitar? Were you in a band?"

"Nah. I started in junior high. I was kind of a loner, so I just played by myself." Boss stopped to investigate the base of a lamp post; they stopped too. "Your turn. Tell me something I don't know."

Young Bae thought for a long moment - Boss had finished his business and they'd started walking again by the time he spoke. "I kissed someone the other day."

Teddy had guessed, from the internal debate that had been visible on Young Bae's face, that he'd been about to say something like that. It had been his first real kiss, unless Teddy had missed a memo. "Attaboy," he said jokingly, punching him in the shoulder. Young Bae understood the intent, if not the exact meaning, and grinned at him. "She pretty?"

The strangest questions could elicit a long, thoughtful pause from Young Bae - that had apparently been another one of them. "Yes," he finally said. "It was nice."

One of the 2NE1 girls, Teddy thought. He knew some kind of no-boyfriend pact had been established, but that couldn't last with a bunch of attractive people that age forced to work together so often. "You gonna go out with her?"

He didn't hesitate on that one. "I don't think so. It was just for fun."

Definitely 2NE1. A damn sight better than Teddy had managed for his first kiss. "You're lucky, man. My first kiss kinda sucked."

Young Bae gave him an interrogative look, so he told him the whole sorry tale - how they'd bumped noses and clinked teeth and laughed awkwardly and gotten interrupted before even really getting anywhere. School had _sucked_ , but at least the story had entertained Young Bae, although he was too nice to laugh at him.

Once they'd walked back to Teddy's apartment building, Young Bae stopped and held out Boss's leash. "Just for another couple of days," he said. "Do you mind?"

"Nah. ... You know, if you're that busy you should probably be in bed."

"I know. I'll head back now."

"What, you're gonna walk all the way back? C'mon, I'll call you a taxi." He reached into his pocket, then remembered he hadn't grabbed his cell phone on his way out.

"It's okay, I like walking," Young Bae replied as he pulled his iPod out of his bag. He shouldered it again and bent down to give Boss a goodbye pet. "Don't make any trouble, you," he said in a low voice, then straightened up again. "Thanks."

Teddy itched to ask Young Bae if he at least had his phone with him in case something happened, but realizing how much that would make him sound like someone's mother stopped him just in time. "No problem. See you in the studios."

***

He stared at the studios' empty coffee maker before digging into his pockets for some change for the vending machine. As vile as the stuff was, he couldn't be bothered to wait more than thirty seconds for a quick hit of caffeine.

He backtracked to the hallway that contained said vending machine and grinned when he saw Jinu standing in front of it. "Didn't think you drank that stuff, man."

Jinu laughed and shook his head. "No fucking way. It's for Perry."

"You guys working together?"

"Yeah, with Sean." The machine stopped whirring and Jinu picked up the small paper cup gingerly. "We're gonna start recording the new single soon."

The mythical Jinusean comeback single. Teddy was a little surprised that he hadn't heard about the recent progress, but then it wasn't like he'd have time to contribute much to it while working on Young Bae's second album and on songs for 2NE1. "Damn. Finally, huh?"

"Yeah..." He didn't sound so enthusiastic, but his smile stayed in place. "What are you up to? Been working on 1TYM tracks?"

Teddy made a face as he stepped closer to the machine. "Trying not to think about that too much." He felt adventurous enough to try the hazelnut coffee. Someone kept having cups of it - Min Ji, he thought - and it seemed pretty good, judging from the aroma that usually wafted through the hallways and to his studio.

"I know what you mean." Jinu leaned against the whirring machine. "It's kinda weird after all this time."

"Yeah. I'm not even sure..." he trailed off. Voicing that thought wasn't a particularly good idea. He knew he'd do it in the end, anyway - for the fans, if nothing else. He cleared his throat to break the awkward silence and retrieved his cup from the vending machine.

"Me neither. Don't know what else I could be doing, though."

And that was Teddy's problem. He knew exactly what else he could be doing, because he was doing it already. Producing and hanging out in the studios and helping out the other artists. It was too easy to see, now, why Perry didn't show his face on camera anymore. "Yeah, same here."

He took a small sip of coffee and Jinu unconsciously mirrored him, but caught himself before the cup reached his lips. He lowered the cup and straightened up, laughing. "Okay, I'm gonna go give this crap to Perry and make some real coffee."

"Yeah, I'd better get back to work, too."

It should've been reassuring to know he wasn't the only one who was a little freaked out about an eventual comeback, but now he only wondered whether any of the other 1TYM guys felt the same way. He sighed to himself and took another sip of coffee. It tasted like ass. Ass and hazelnut. His studio would smell nice for a while, though.

***

Teddy woke up to Boss stamping on his face as he climbed over him on his way off the bed. Better than pee, but not by much. His enthusiastic barks faded as he left the bedroom, and Teddy figured out, after a few seconds, that someone must've rung the doorbell.

He got up to buzz in whoever it was, then somehow found the motivation to pull on a pair of sweatpants over his boxers. Danny wouldn't give a damn, but he'd rather spare Young Bae the eyesore.

And it was him, as it turned out. "Hey. You here to pick up Boss?"

He nodded, looking a little sheepish. "Sorry I woke you up again."

"Don't worry about it." Teddy glanced down as something brushed against his legs, then placed one foot in front of Boss to prevent him from slipping out. "Hey, sit! Hold on, I'll get his leash."

"Um-- we could walk him together. If you're not going back to bed, I mean."

Teddy rubbed his eyes. "What time is it?"

"Nine thirty."

Young Bae was going to warp his sleeping patterns into something resembling a normal human being's if he kept that up. "Yeah, all right." Teddy stepped back to let him in, keeping an eye on Boss, then closed the door. "I gotta take a shower first, though." He couldn't immediately remember the last time he'd taken one. That was usually a bad sign.

"Okay. I'll make breakfast."

Young Bae was halfway to the kitchen by the time what he'd said had fully sunk in. "What? Nah, don't bother. There's nothing in the fridge, anyway."

"There must be something," he said, looking over his shoulder. Teddy simply laughed and walked over to the bathroom. No use arguing - Young Bae would see the state of his fridge and give up on the idea.

He was more determined than Teddy had thought, though, and he was surprised to see the table set when he came back out. Granted, it was just bowls and spoons to go with the cereal and milk Young Bae had taken out, but...

It suddenly hit him that the kitchen table was usually in no state to be used for its intended purpose. "Where'd you put all the--"

Young Bae pointed to the magazines, notebooks, opened envelopes and random papers now stacked up neatly against the wall. Part of the table was still covered in odds and ends - he had no idea how the hell he'd ended up with that many pens and pencils - but it was an improvement. "... Huh. Thanks," he said, for lack of a better thing to say, and sat down at the table.

They served themselves in silence and shared a smile when Boss trotted over at the sound of the cereal hitting their bowls. Teddy stood back up. "Gonna feed him."

"Is that your girlfriend in the pictures?"

The question came while he was tipping kibble into Boss's bowl. He straightened up, frowning, and put the bag of dog food away before walking back to the table. "What pictures?" He spotted them on the corner of the table as soon as the words were out of his mouth. "Oh... That was years ago. She's my ex-fiancee."

Young Bae didn't ask. He poured milk onto his cereal, stuffed a spoonful into his mouth, and the look that crossed his face had Teddy reaching for the milk to check the label even though the problem was pretty obvious. It had expired five days ago.

"I warned you, you know."

Young Bae swallowed with obvious difficulty, his eyes narrowed to tiny slits, then set his spoon down, staring at the cereal as if it had punched him in the face. His first brush with spoiled milk, apparently.

"Starbucks," Teddy said. Young Bae nodded and stood up, taking both the milk and his bowl to the sink.

***

"YB got me thinking about Min Hee again the other day."

"What'd he do?" Danny asked distractedly, his eyes fixed on a girl across the street. They were walking to the theatre to catch a movie. Teddy didn't know which one yet - they usually stood looking at the posters and bickering for a few minutes instead of choosing in advance.

"Nothing. He just found some pictures of us under a bunch of old crap in my place."

Danny blinked and looked away from the girl. "What's he doing going through your crap?"

"He's been coming over pretty often 'cause I'm taking care of his dog." Teddy realized that didn't really answer the question, but he wasn't sure exactly why he didn't mind Young Bae poking through his stuff. Or why Young Bae was doing it in the first place.

"Well, don't think about her, dude. You should toss the pictures."

Teddy sighed. "Yeah. I don't even know why I kept them." He'd flipped through them after he'd come back from his walk with Young Bae. He'd felt like shit afterwards, spent much too long thinking about her, and had ended up digging up a pack of cigarettes and breaking his three-month no-smoking streak. The small pile of pictures was still on his kitchen table, though.

"She was a bitch, anyway," Danny said as if that settled the subject. It probably did, for him - he'd never had much trouble moving on from failed relationships. "Hey, think there's any good horror films out yet?"

***

Teddy ran his hand over the dusty dark red body of his guitar, then wiped it on his jeans, snorting to himself at the dark grey streaks he'd left behind as he started to tune the instrument. It'd been a while - it was badly out of tune, and the strings felt different with no callous on his fingers.

"What do you like to play?" Young Bae asked from his perch on his bed, one hand petting Boss absently. The little bugger had appropriated Teddy's pillow again.

"I dunno, lots of stuff." He wiped the neck down with the sleeve of his hoodie, which took care of most of the remaining dust. He tried to think of a song Young Bae would know, then, on a whim, started playing Smoke On The Water.

He got the reaction he was expecting - Young Bae's face lit up in recognition. "Oh! It's... What's it called? I've heard it before."

"Smoke On The Water."

"Like... like smoking on a boat?"

Teddy snickered and translated the title. It hadn't been a bad guess, though - whoever had been hammering English into the trainees' heads was doing decent job. "It's by Deep Purple. Do you know them?"

They discussed rock music for a few minutes (that was all it took for Young Bae to run out of things to say) as Teddy played random songs from memory, his fingers stumbling over the strings a lot more than he would've liked. Maybe he'd start practicing again. He couldn't even remember why he'd stopped. It hadn't been a conscious decision, really...

"Why did you stop playing?"

Teddy smiled. "I was just thinking about that. I got too busy writing stuff for 1TYM, I guess."

He didn't say anything in reply, but Teddy knew he understood. They'd all had to make sacrifices.

Several more minutes passed with only the random snatches of songs breaking the silence. Teddy had nearly forgotten Young Bae was even there when he spoke, shifting on the bed. "When I said I kissed someone," he started as if continuing an earlier conversation, "it wasn't a girl."

To Teddy's credit, he managed to transition smoothly from one song to another. He did look up, briefly, but Young Bae was inspecting his own fingernails. Better try not to embarrass him further. "Wanna say who it was?"

"Yanggaeng."

"Guess he is kinda pretty, huh." He switched to pretending to tune his guitar again, because that left him more time to think. It was a little surprising coming from a kid who seemed so conservative, but... well, Teddy ought to know better by now. And he _had_ seen Yanggaeng hovering near Young Bae a couple of times in the studios. "It's not a big deal, you know."

"I know... I just felt like telling someone."

"You never talked about it to anyone before?"

"I wasn't sure."

Teddy nodded in understanding and kept on tuning until they both happened to glance up at the same time. Their eyes met, and the corners of Young Bae's mouth quirked up slightly. "It sounds fine, you know."

It took a second for Teddy to realize he was talking about the guitar. Not the right tactic to use around a singer. "Yeah." He stopped. "Uh, you wanna talk about it some more? 'Cause you're not gonna gross me out or anything, man."

He shook his head, playing gently with one of Boss's front paws. "It's okay. ... Maybe later," he amended, looking up. Teddy nodded and placed his fingers on neck of his guitar again.

***

The next time Young Bae showed up at his door, Teddy simply stepped aside and nodded for him to come in, since he'd probably been about to ask, anyway.

"You started smoking again, right?" he said as he unclipped the leash from Boss's collar. "It didn't smell that much before."

Teddy really wanted to say he hadn't, but he'd made a pretty big dent in that pack of cigarettes. He'd decided he might as well enjoy the rest of it (and maybe a couple more) before launching his seventh attempt to stop smoking. "Yeah. I'm gonna stop, though."

"Ji Yong does it too. He thinks we can't smell it if he closes the door."

Young Bae wasn't the type to roll his eyes, but the quiet disapproval emanating from him did the job just as well. Teddy sighed. "I'll open a window."

"No, it's okay. But you should stop." Young Bae lined up his sneakers neatly next to his and unzipped his jacket. "You have English books, right? Over there," he clarified, pointing.

Teddy glanced over his shoulder. He was pointing to the overstuffed bookshelf in the living room, which did contain a lot of novels he'd bought for his university classes, and some he'd been lugging around since high school. "Yeah. You wanna borrow one?"

He nodded. "We're going to Japan for a few days." He draped his jacket over the back of the couch, next to a couple of Teddy's hoodies, on his way to the bookshelf. "Are they hard to understand?"

"Some of them, yeah." Teddy joined him, looking over his shoulder at the various books on the shelves. Most of them seemed kind of long for Young Bae, considering how many words he'd have to look up. "What kind of..." He trailed off when he spotted _The Catcher In The Rye_ , tucked between two larger books. It'd do. "Try this one," he said as he grabbed it from the shelf.

Young Bae took the book from him and stood staring at the back of it for a while before finally nodding. He flipped through it, pausing when he saw the highlighted parts and the notes Teddy had left in the margins, then looked up at him. "Can I stay?"

"Sure. I gotta get some work done, though."

Young Bae nodded again and headed for the couch, nose already buried in the book. Teddy smiled to himself and went back to his computer. When he glanced back, several minutes later, Young Bae was curled up with the book in one hand and his electronic dictionary on his lap. Looked like he'd manage, although it'd probably take forever for him to finish it.

Teddy went back to work. He called it quits at half past midnight - he'd been waking up earlier and earlier, thanks to Young Bae's impromptu visits and Boss's need for regular walks, and he was already feeling sleepy enough to go to bed.

Young Bae had given up on reading at some point. He was sleeping soundly with Boss curled up against his chest, the book and dictionary stacked on the arm of the couch. Teddy stood next to him for a moment, considering just tossing a blanket over him and going to bed, but Big Bang's flight was probably early in the morning. Their manager would blow a gasket if he was late.

He leaned down and shook his shoulder. That didn't wake him up, but Boss looked up, then clambered to his paws and stepped on his arm in the process, which did the job. Young Bae squinted at Boss, then blinked as he noticed Teddy. "... I fell asleep," he muttered. "Sorry."

"It's okay. You should go, though. You're leaving tomorrow, right?"

"Yes." He sat up and ran his fingers through his hair, which wasn't really enough to make his mohawk straight again. "We'll be back on Monday night." He yawned, then pulled his jacket from the back of the couch and put it on, his movements a little sluggish.

"Want me to walk you home?" Teddy asked.

Young Bae shook his head and stood up. He looked a little more awake once he'd stretched his arms over his head and rubbed his eyes. Boss barked up at him, probably expecting a walk, and Young Bae smiled and ruffled his fur. "Bye bye," he said quietly, then picked up the book and his dictionary.

***

"Didja know Young Bae's gay?"

Danny looked at him, blinked, and picked up the TV remote to lower the volume. Teddy couldn't care less - it wasn't like they didn't know Pulp Fiction by heart already, anyway, and the Korean dub was pretty horrible. "You mean Ji Yong?"

"I mean Young Bae," Teddy replied. The question wouldn't have been necessary as far as Ji Yong was concerned. He didn't try too hard to hide what he liked when the cameras were out of his face, and even Danny wasn't that blind.

"Did he hit on you?"

"No, asshole, he just told me."

"Huh." There was a long pause, interrupted only by Danny cramming a handful of Doritos into his mouth and Uma Thurman's faint screams. "He's spending a lot of time at your place, though."

"Yeah, well..." He wanted to say it was because of the dog, because he lived close to the studios. But so did everyone else. "Whatever, man. Wouldn't be the first time some guy gets a crush on me. I can handle it."

Danny shrugged. "Just don't encourage him or anything."

Teddy couldn't remember why he'd thought sharing the news with Danny would lead to something interesting. He sighed. "Never mind. Don't fucking tease him about it." He was pretty sure Danny had learned his lesson after saying "fag" in front of Perry a few years ago, but a little extra caution couldn't hurt.

Danny shrugged again, chewing another mouthful of Doritos. "Wasn't gonna, man." He wiped his fingers on his pants and grabbed the remote, raising the volume again.

***

It was a good thing he'd remembered to put his phone on the night stand before bed the previous evening - all he had to do was to stretch his arm out and grab it. Mornings were getting chilly, and he had no desire to get up just yet. "Hello?" he muttered, holding the phone to his ear without bothering to lift his head off the pillow. Or open his eyes.

"Hi. I'm not sure I understand the book."

"Mm. Lots of tough words in there. You can borrow another one when you come back."

"No, I mean... I don't get why he's so angry."

Teddy rolled onto his back and tried to remember the details of the story. It'd been a while. "Something bad happened to him. It's gonna come up later on. And he's a teenager."

He could hear the smile in Young Bae's voice when he spoke. "I never got that angry."

As far as he knew, Young Bae's teenaged rebellion had been limited to getting an eyebrow piercing and dressing like Ji Yong for a while. Teddy hadn't been around all that much back then, but he couldn't imagine Young Bae sullen and angry. "I did."

"Really? What did you do?"

"I got into fights. And, y'know, I drank too much and partied with my friends when my parents weren't looking. Maybe that's more of an American thing."

"I guess so. ... Were you asleep? Your voice sounds rough."

"Yeah. And I know you're sorry," he added, smiling. "Don't bother saying it."

He laughed. "Fine. Can I call you back later?"

"Who says you gotta call back? I'm awake, man. What's on your mind?"

"Well," he started, and it took moment before he continued. "Ah, it's kind of silly. I don't know if I should tell the others."

"That you're gay?" He wasn't quite awake enough to think of sugar-coating it, but it didn't seem to matter.

"Yes. What do you think?"

Five Korean guys in their early twenties living together. Teddy would've advised him against it just to avoid the potential awkwardness, but he was pretty sure the other members of Big Bang had already been there, done that, and gotten the t-shirt. "Do they mind that Ji Yong's gay?"

"No. Seung Hyun teases him about it sometimes, but..." There was a short pause. "I guess it's Ji Yong I'm kind of worried about."

Teddy tried to figure out Young Bae's train of thought before asking, but no matter how he looked at it, that didn't make any fucking sense. "Why?"

"It'll be weird if he likes me. I think he does, maybe."

"You don't?"

"Not like that. He's my best friend."

"He'll get over it," Teddy said with confidence he didn't really have. He was a little out of his depth, and he'd stopped trying to anticipate Ji Yong's behavior around the time he'd gone from Timberland to high fashion and from eyeing Swi.T members to French-kissing their back dancers in dark corners of the studios. The new YG generation, he thought, was one big scandal waiting to happen. Good thing at least one of them was mature enough to think about what he was doing.

"Don't stress out about it," he added once he'd realized Young Bae still hadn't said anything. "Just tell 'em when you're ready."

"Yeah... How's Boss? He's still with you, right?"

"Yep. He's fine. I think he misses ya, though." Teddy raised his head, whistled, and heard Boss scramble into the room a moment later. "Wanna talk to him?"

Young Bae tried to sound like he found the idea silly, but soon enough Teddy was holding the phone down to Boss's level, grinning at the faint cooing that filtered through it. Although Boss seemed confused at first, his tail was wagging by the time Teddy put the phone back to his ear. "See, he recognized ya. You still coming back on Monday night?"

"Yes. I'll pick him up when I get back."

Teddy said goodbye after confirming the time of his flight. He put his phone down, curled up comfortably under the covers, and tried to go back to sleep.

***

He opted, after shifting around in bed for a while, to get up and try to enjoy the day, since sleep obviously wasn't going to happen. Looking for a particularly warm hoodie he'd misplaced somehow led to picking up the clothes that littered his apartment, Boss on his heels as he carried them all to the washing machine.

It'd take more than one load, but he got the first one going, at least, and the apartment looked a little better - Young Bae's efforts wouldn't be in vain.

"You wanna go for a walk?" he asked Boss, grinning when he barked up at him. "All right, all right."

The first thing that struck him, when he came back from the walk, was how cluttered that bookshelf in the living room was. It hadn't been that noticeable when the rest of the room had been a cluttered mess, too, but now...

He tackled it after feeding the dog. He had no idea how the hell so many things that weren't books had ended up on that bookshelf - a couple of Christmas ornaments he had no memory of buying, some old notebooks, _more_ pens he didn't need... He finally just grabbed a garbage bag and dumped all the crap he didn't want into it. 

Then he dragged the bag over to his desk and threw out yet more crap - mostly ancient drafts of song lyrics for 2NE1 and Big Bang, and post-its covered with scribbles Teddy couldn't even puzzle out anymore. By the time he'd gone through all of his stuff, the bag was almost full and it was already past noon. It'd been years since his desk had been so organized, though, and he'd even managed to set aside a couple of novels for Young Bae. _The Catcher In The Rye_ might be a little too difficult, but there was no way in hell Young Bae couldn't handle something like _The Pearl_. And it wasn't like Teddy intended on ever reading those books again.

It was strange to feel accomplished at such an early hour. Teddy surveyed the living room, briefly considered vacuuming the floor, then settled on taking a nap instead. Baby steps. It was probably better to wait until Boss was gone to vacuum, anyway. Tyson had been terrified of the damn thing on the two or three occasions Teddy had actually used it.

***

Young Bae was about an hour late, by Teddy's estimation, when he finally rang the doorbell on Monday night. Boss charged him as soon as Teddy opened the door, barking excitedly. Young Bae crouched down, then fell back onto his ass, laughing, as Boss tackled him.

"Hi," he said, looking up at Teddy and petting Boss with both hands. "Did you have a good weekend?"

"Yeah. How was your flight?" Teddy offered him a hand and hoisted him up. "Got delayed?" That was muffled by Young Bae's shoulder - he'd moved in for a hug. Teddy gave him a squeeze and patted him on the back before pulling away.

"No, I just stopped by our apartment to unpack before I came here. Oh, and I got you something." He slid his bag off his shoulder and propped it on his knee as he opened it. The rumpled Starbucks paper bag he retrieved from it made Teddy laugh.

"Tell me that ain't a souvenir from Tokyo, man."

Young Bae blinked, then held out the bag, the repressed smile visible in his eyes and at the corners of his mouth. "It is. I bought it on Saturday, so it might be a little dry."

Teddy grinned and cuffed him on the side of the head as he took the bag. Young Bae laughed and pushed his arm away, then turned to close the door. "Can I stay for a while?"

The question was clearly an afterthought, but Teddy had never objected to having friends invite themselves in. "Sure, anytime. You don't need to ask." He unrolled the top of the bag and peered into it. Double chocolate muffin. "I'm gonna have some milk. You want anything?"

"Is there anything else to drink?"

Teddy snorted and glanced over his shoulder as he headed to the kitchen. "I bought it yesterday."

Young Bae joined him, now with no shoes and with Boss trotting after him, while he was pouring milk into a glass. He eyed the pint of milk with clear distrust, so Teddy peered into the fridge again. "Beer?" he suggested, not really expecting Young Bae to take him up on that offer. "... Or, uh, water. That's all there is."

"Beer's fine."

He hesitated for a second before grabbing a Guinness from the fridge. The Hite in there was for Danny, and it wouldn't hurt to expand Young Bae's horizons a little. "You ever had dark beer?"

"I tried it once," Young Bae replied. Teddy was about to offer him the Hite instead, since that hadn't exactly sounded like a glowing endorsement, but he took the can from him and cracked it open. "Thanks."

They sat at the kitchen table (still half-covered in odds and ends - Teddy wasn't a miracle worker) and Young Bae sipped his beer silently, reaching down to pet Boss when he wandered over. He looked tired.

"You're up past your bedtime again, huh?" Teddy asked around a mouthful of muffin. "You should drop by in the afternoon instead."

"I'm always busy in the afternoon." His eyes wandered around and settled on his desk. Teddy caught the obvious double-take and smiled to himself as Young Bae leaned forward slightly to take a better look at the living room. "... You did some cleaning, didn't you?"

"Yeah. Guess I'm kinda tired of the mess."

Young Bae reached over and tore off a small chunk of his muffin. "I could help you out when I'm around."

"You barely have any free time, man. You should find something relaxing to do."

"Cleaning is relaxing," Young Bae replied, his slightly confused tone implying that he really shouldn't need to be explaining this.

After a second, it occurred to Teddy that cleaning probably _was_ relaxing compared to the rest of his routine. That was just... sad. At least he'd be able to talk Young Bae into doing things that were _actually_ fun if he came to his place once in a while.

***

Two cans of Guinness, as it turned out, was enough to color Young Bae's cheeks and make his eyes go slightly unfocused. He was still walking straight, though, one arm stretched forward to let Boss trot ahead of them.

"Why did you break up with your fiancee?" he blurted out, watching Boss as he peed against a small bush.

"She lived in LA," Teddy started, "so it was hard to stay together 'cause I kept traveling back and forth, y'know."

"Oh... That's too bad."

"Not really. She cheated on me when I was here." It had taken forever for him to realize it, too, and he still saw red whenever he let himself dwell on it. The thought of sending her letters, of buying her a ring in Seoul, of thinking about her every day while she was sleeping around behind his back...

He sighed and grabbed his cigarettes and lighter from his pocket. He'd bought another pack while walking Boss a few days ago, about four hours after the first one had run out - his last pack for real this time, he kept telling himself, although every delicious lungful of smoke made him less and less likely to keep that promise.

"Well, at least you broke up with her before you got married."

As far as silver linings went, that one wasn't too impressive, but Young Bae clearly had no idea what else to say. Teddy shrugged and slapped him on the back once he'd lit his cigarette. "It's fine, man. It's been years."

They watched Boss walk ahead of them for a while, his nose almost touching the sidewalk as he sniffed around. He stopped again and Teddy nudged Young Bae. "Hey, how's it going with Yanggaeng? Didja fool around with him again?"

Young Bae blinked at him, then looked down at Boss, a small smile curling his lips. "No... He's already with someone, anyway."

"Oh. Ji Yong?"

He laughed and looked up again. "What? No. And I can't really tell you... I mean, they don't tell a lot of people, so..."

"Yeah, yeah, I get it. I ain't part of the special gay club." He took a drag from his cigarette and shook his head in mock-frustration as he exhaled the smoke slowly. "You guys get all the good gossip."

It took a few seconds for Young Bae to register the fact that he was joking. "I guess so," he eventually said, then glanced at him out of the corner of his eye. "Oh, I told Ji Yong yesterday."

"What'd he say?"

"He said he was happy I told him first. And we're still best friends."

Teddy caught the implied lie in that first sentence - he'd known about the whole thing well before Ji Yong had - but understood why Young Bae wanted him to keep quiet about it. "Good. You gonna tell the others too?"

"Yes. I don't think they're going to mind."

"Nah, they won't. We still recording tomorrow?" Teddy asked as they approached Big Bang's apartment building.

"Yes." They stopped in front of the door and Young Bae grabbed onto the sleeve of his hoodie as if to hold him still. He only had time to blink before Young Bae leaned over and pressed a kiss to his cheek. They stood like that for a few seconds, inches from each other, with Young Bae looking searchingly at him and his fingers still curled against his arm, and all Teddy could manage was a small smile.

Young Bae returned it, then reached up, took the cigarette from his lips, and kissed him. It lasted all of two seconds, but the shaky, quiet little laugh he let out as he took a step back, still looking at him uncertainly, made it clear how nervous he was. Teddy found himself grinning without really knowing why. "... So uh, see you tomorrow."

Young Bae looked at him for a little too long before finally nodding. "See you," he said, then turned around, took a few steps and stopped again. He looked down at the lit cigarette still in his hand, glanced back at Teddy, and dropped it to the ground before stepping on it. "You're supposed to stop, anyway," he muttered, then headed inside.

***

Teddy wasn't sure what he'd been expecting, but nothing changed. He met Young Bae in his studio, sat down next to him and went over some lyrics with him, letting him make a couple of minor modifications. It was only when Teddy draped an arm over his shoulders - not an unusual gesture by any means - that he really noticed any difference. Young Bae looked up from the lyrics and gave him a small, private smile that made his heart beat faster.

He hadn't felt like this in a long time, and never because of a man. He'd always been more about people than about labels, though, and it was much too late to pretend he didn't like Young Bae.

Besides, Young Bae was mature enough not to let whatever he'd started get in the way of the work they had to do. Recording went as well as usual, and only when Teddy decided they were done for the day did Young Bae do something out of the ordinary: Teddy packed up his stuff and he simply did the same and followed him all the way out of the studios.

"You coming home with me?" Teddy asked once they were standing at a particular red light. Young Bae would have to turn left to head to Big Bang's apartment, and he was showing no intention of doing so.

"Yes." He took his hands out of his pockets briefly to pull up his hood. "Is it okay? You said anytime."

"Wanna go get Boss first?"

The light changed to green and Young Bae stepped off the curb, which Teddy took as a no. "Ji Yong said he'd feed him today," he said, then glanced at him. "You can still work, I won't bother you."

"Don't be stupid," Teddy replied.

Thirty minutes later, though, Young Bae had settled on his couch with _The Catcher In The Rye_ and his dictionary. Maybe he actually wanted Teddy to work. Or maybe he just wanted to be someplace quiet to get some reading done - Teddy would squat other people's places whenever he could, too, if he lived with four other guys.

He sat down at his desk to work on his latest loop. He'd recorded a simple little riff with his guitar the other day (his fingertips were still sore from starting to play again after abandoning it for so long), and it was shaping up better than he'd expected.

Even with someone else in the room, it was easy to lose himself in his music, and he jumped when Young Bae touched his shoulder. He pulled his headphones off and looked up at him. He was grinning. "Sorry... What's 'crumby'?"

He'd pronounced it wrong. Teddy didn't bother correcting him. "It's like... shitty," he tried, and nearly laughed when Young Bae nodded in understanding. His English might not be the best, but he always listened carefully, and Teddy suspected that his knowledge of slang and curses was a lot more impressive than he let on. "How's it going? You almost done?"

Young Bae made a face. "I'm only halfway through. Can I listen?"

Teddy handed him his headphones. He listened to the entire track, his eyes focused on a random spot on his desk, and looked at him again as he took the headphones off. "I like it. Is it for 1TYM?"

"I don't know... Why?"

He shrugged. "It doesn't sound like it's for me or 2NE1."

Teddy thought about it. "... Yeah, maybe." It'd be something, at least. And then he could stop ducking everyone's questions about his progress on 1TYM's comeback.

"I'm sick of reading. I'll make tea, okay?"

He would've said he didn't have any tea, but Young Bae probably knew his way around the kitchen better than he did. "Yeah, sure."

***

It was barley tea Young Bae set down in front of him at the kitchen table. Teddy had no recollection of ever buying barley tea. What he did remember was that Perry loved the stuff, though, and that was a little scary to contemplate considering how many years had passed since he'd moved out.

"What?" Young Bae asked as he sat down.

"Did you buy tea when I wasn't looking?"

"No," he replied, giving him a strange look. He peered into his own mug, took a tiny sip, and shrugged. "It's fine."

Teddy shrugged too and wrapped his hands around the mug. Tea probably didn't go bad. They sat in silence for a few moments, then he reached for the pack of cigarettes sitting on a corner of the table. "Mind if I smoke?"

"No," he said, running his finger over a chink in the rim of his mug, "but I don't like the taste."

Teddy put the pack down again. The silence that followed was uncharacteristically awkward, and he couldn't get a handle on the damn butterflies in his stomach. He wasn't even sure who leaned in first, but then he was cupping Young Bae's jaw and kissing him. It was Young Bae who deepened it, though, his tongue snaking out briefly to brush against his, and when they broke apart he had that smile on his face again.

Teddy took a deep breath and drank some tea. Young Bae mirrored him, then cleared his throat. "Did you write anything else for 1TYM?"

"Not really. Nothing good, anyway."

His fingernail worried at that chink again. "... Are you gonna break up?"

Teddy considered the various things he usually said in answer to that question, then decided to be honest instead. "Maybe. We have to talk about it."

Young Bae nodded. "Is it because we're keeping you too busy?"

"Nah. I'm keeping myself busy 'cause I don't wanna deal with it." It felt weird to admit that out loud, and Young Bae probably noticed because he backed off, going back to safer topics until both their mugs were empty.

"I should go," he said after a glance at his watch, then stood up and took the mugs to the sink. He'd probably assumed (rightly so) that Teddy would forget to do it.

He walked Young Bae to the door and watched while he put on his shoes and jacket and picked up his bag. "Want me to come along?"

"It's okay," he replied as he stepped forward. "I'll tell Boss you said hi."

Teddy pressed a light kiss to his lips, then pulled the lapels of his jacket closer together. "Don't catch a cold, a'ight? We got a lot more recording to do."

Young Bae left after assuring him it wasn't that cold, which Teddy still thought was debatable. As he made his way back to the kitchen to wash the mugs - if he didn't do it now, he'd never get around to it - the pack of cigarettes on the table caught his eye, then the stack of pictures he still hadn't touched.

He stopped, then gathered up all of the crap on the table (pictures, cigarettes, and pens included) and dumped everything into the trash.

***

"Fuck, man, I hope you didn't want any kids."

Teddy snorted as Jinu inched past him to sit in an empty chair. "I'm in the video. What's your excuse?"

"I'm fashion-conscious?" Jinu suggested, looking down at his own jeans.

Teddy wasn't sure why Jinu had to be present at every shoot and meeting and event ever, but as they sat there watching Young Bae dance, it occurred to him that he was just avoiding Jinusean's comeback. Much like Teddy was avoiding his own by cramming himself into too-tight pants and a leather jacket for a three-second cameo instead of working on something useful like beats or lyrics or finding out where the fuck Baek Kyoung and Jinhwan even were.

The sudden feeling of kinship compensated for the dig about his pants, so Teddy didn't bother trying to think of another comeback. He watched Young Bae instead - take after take of the ridiculously intricate moves, until his forehead was shining with sweat and the director let him have a break.

Young Bae walked over and watched the footage for a few minutes. Once he'd nodded his satisfaction to the director, he looked their way and smiled. "Hi, Jinu," he said as he moved closer.

"Hey. Looking good, kid."

He grinned and sat down on the only chair that was nearby and still empty, right behind both of them. "Thanks." He rested one arm on the back of Teddy's chair and leaned forward between them. "I think we're almost done."

"Gonna go celebrate afterwards?"

"I don't know... I'm kind of tired." He put his chin on Teddy's shoulder. "Maybe I'll just have something nice for dinner tonight."

Teddy, for a second, was certain the gesture amounted to a sudden coming-out, but then he remembered they always did that kind of thing in public. And even if Young Bae did want to be obvious about it in front of the family... Well, what Teddy had told him a while ago still applied: It wasn't a big deal. No one who mattered would care.

And Jinu, as it turned out, didn't even blink. "I'll make something if you want."

"That'd be nice," Young Bae said, then turned his head slightly. "Are you coming?"

"To your place? Yeah, sure."

"I guess they're gonna film your part at the end?" Jinu asked, and Teddy shook his head.

"Already done. It took, like, fifteen minutes."

"And you're still wearing that?"

"It's not that bad," Young Bae said, looking his way again. "You look like you're in Grease."

His two statements were completely at odds with each other, as far as Teddy was concerned, and Jinu's laughter was confirmation enough. He shrugged Young Bae's head away gently and stood up. "Be right back."

***

"Something nice for dinner" had somehow turned into grilled cheese sandwiches, which Teddy had been inclined to argue about until Ji Yong and Young Bae had put up a united front of "they're good"s and "no, really"s. He and Seung Ri (who had no clue what grilled cheese sandwiches even were, from the sound of it) had given up after a couple of their suggestions had been instantly shot down.

Teddy was now pretty happy they'd relented, though, because Jinu's definition of a grilled cheese sandwich involved bacon. A lot of it. Seung Ri had looked sadly at his empty plate and licked his greasy fingers after he'd finished eating.

The kitchen was a little cramped for seven people, so Big Bang piled up in the living room for what they'd apparently decided was dessert - a pint of green tea ice cream, which they were demolishing by passing a single spoon around. Teddy sat on the sofa next to Young Bae and draped an arm over his shoulders.

"I could wash more spoons," Jinu suggested after it became clear he wasn't included in the ice-cream-sharing circle.

Ji Yong, who'd been watching the carnage from his spot on the floor with a look of mild distaste, looked up at him. "Yes, please."

Jinu disappeared into the kitchen. The spoon wasn't making its way to Teddy, either, but he didn't mind much. Sweet green tea-flavored stuff wasn't his thing.

It took a couple of rounds for Young Bae to notice Teddy wasn't eating, but he eventually did and held out the spoon to him after stuffing more ice cream into his mouth. "Want some?" he said thickly.

"I'll get you a spoon, hyung, Jinu must be..." Dae Sung trailed off, blinking, when Teddy simply shrugged and took the spoon, reaching over to get some ice cream from the carton in Seung Hyun's hands.

The flavor wasn't so bad after all - not too sweet, and, hell, ice cream was ice cream. Ji Yong watched him silently, drumming his fingers on the floor, then sighed and stretched his arm out to wiggle them in his direction.

Teddy grinned. "Careful, man," he said as he handed it over. "Producer germs. They're real bad."

Ji Yong glared his way before focusing on getting the pint down to his level. "Never mind, J, we don't need spoons anymore," he called out as he scooped up an impressive amount of ice cream, holding onto Seung Hyun's arm with his free hand.

Jinu's "tsch!" was more than loud enough to be heard from the living room. He came back, leaned over the back of the sofa, and sunk an obviously still-warm spoon into the ice cream. "Ji Yong's doing the rest of the dishes, just for the record."

"No, Seung Ri is."

Teddy heard a rebellious mutter from the kid in question, but another glare from Ji Yong shut him up. They kept at it until the carton was empty, then settled down again and turned on the television.

They weren't halfway through the evening news when Teddy's eyes started closing on their own, the food-induced daze and the news anchor's soothing voice working together against him. As tempting as it was to just doze off on Young Bae's shoulder, he did have some beats to work on. He took a deep breath and rubbed his eyes. "Gotta get going, guys."

That was met with a chorus of equally unmotivated "m'kay"s and "oh"s, except for Young Bae, who blinked at him. "Hold on," he said, then stood up. "I wrote some new lyrics for Wedding Dress. Can you take a look before you leave?"

"Sure," Teddy replied, following him. His brain finally caught up as he stepped into the bedroom. "Wait, Wedding Dress? It's kinda too late, you know, I already sent it off for..."

Young Bae laughed. "I didn't write anything," he said, then wrapped both arms around his neck and kissed him.

Teddy had reflexively put a hand on Young Bae's hip before he even realized what was going on. He parted his lips and Young Bae pressed closer as he deepened the kiss. The distant sound of Dae Sung's voice stopped them, though, and Teddy pulled away, glancing over his shoulder.

Young Bae smiled at him and leaned in to give the door a push. Teddy didn't hear it close completely, but it'd have to do, because Young Bae was kissing him again and he sure as hell wasn't going to stop for a second time.

He was seriously reconsidering his decision to leave by the time they did stop, minutes later, both of them breathing heavily. He could feel Young Bae's erection pressing against his hip, and it seemed like he noticed it, too, because he moved away slightly.

"I wish you could stay longer," he said with a little smile.

Teddy fully sympathized. "Yeah, uh. I gotta get some work done." And he wasn't going to try anything with so many people in the next room. "Tomorrow?"

The door creaked a little, but Teddy recognized the clicking noise of Boss's claws on the floor. Young Bae didn't - he stepped away from him quickly. "... _Boss_ ," he said, mock-stern, as he bent down to pick him up. "You scared me, puppy."

"He ain't really a puppy anymore," Teddy said amusedly, watching Boss's paws flail frantically through the air. "Tomorrow? My place, I mean."

Young Bae frowned. "I'm really busy tomorrow... Is it okay if I come late?"

"Yeah, it's fine."

The flailing reached a crescendo and Young Bae set Boss back down before walking Teddy to the door. Everyone were still sprawled in pretty much the same way, except for Seung Ri, who'd fallen asleep in an uncomfortable-looking position with the script he'd been studying covering half his face.

"Bye, guys," Teddy said quietly. They all looked over and whispered their goodbyes. Ji Yong had the hint of a smile on his face, though, and Teddy was suddenly certain he knew what was going on. Not surprising. He smiled back before bending down to find his sneakers.

***

Jacoby's Burgers had, over the last several months, climbed its way to the top of Teddy's list of awesome burger joints. And that meant a lot, considering he'd tried most of the notable ones in Seoul, usually with Se7en and Danny in tow.

Tonight it was just him and Danny, though, and a pair of chili burgers as big as their heads. The place was dark but not crowded yet. The music wasn't too loud, either - it was a great place to talk, especially since the clientele consisted mostly of foreigners who didn't care who they were. Teddy usually ordered in English just because he could.

"Dude," he said between bites of his burger. "I gotta tell you something."

Danny made a vaguely inquisitive noise around the garlic fries in his mouth.

"You know how I..." _Told you Young Bae's gay_ , he was going to say, but then he decided not to beat around the bush. "Uh, I'm dating Young Bae."

Danny chewed for several seconds. "... Yeah, okay," he said, laughing. "Did you meet a girl or something?"

"No, listen. I'm serious." He took another bite, trying to project nonchalance despite his rising apprehension. "He's great."

"What-- C'mon, man, you're not even gay. What'd he do, suck your dick a couple times?"

"Don't talk about him like that."

"What, 'cause he's your boyfriend?"

Teddy put his burger down. " _Yes_ , 'cause he's my boyfriend. Are you fucking deaf?"

"Dude, we've known him since he was... what, twelve? It's just fucking weird, okay?"

He thought about the previous evening - the late-night stubble scraping against his upper lip and the hard dick pressing against him - and let out a short laugh. "He ain't twelve anymore."

"Fine, whatever." Danny picked up his burger and sank his teeth into it. Teddy knew he wasn't done, though, and he spoke up again once he'd swallowed, sounding even more incensed. "What the hell did you want me to say? You never told me."

"I didn't kn-- I didn't think it was important, okay?" Teddy said, catching himself right before he said something that wasn't true. He'd known, or at least suspected it for years. He'd just never felt the urge to confirm those suspicions with someone he didn't care for.

"Yeah, well... It is," Danny replied, frowning down at his fries. At least he sounded vaguely like he'd realized he was being an asshole. Teddy simply shook his head and continued to eat.

His attempts at conversation petered out after a minute or two for the rest of the meal. Danny was disgruntled and brooding into his beer, and he'd just about used up all of Teddy's patience on the subject. He'd put up with this already - Danny had had plenty to say about Perry all those years ago, of course, and there had been a few snide remarks about Ji Yong and his friends, more recently, that had left a bad taste in Teddy's mouth.

"It's on me," he said as the waiter walked over with the bill and Danny reached for his wallet.

"Thanks."

Teddy remembered, as they walked to the subway station in silence, that he hadn't even gotten around to telling him the other news he'd invited him out for. Finishing that 1TYM song didn't seem like something worth celebrating anymore, though, and he kept his mouth shut.

No one who mattered would care, he'd thought. That obviously wasn't the case.

***

Teddy jerked awake with a crick in his neck and his cell phone vibrating in his pocket. The message he saw when he flipped it open ("are you home? ㅜㅜ") made him curse out loud and stumble from the couch to the door to buzz Young Bae in.

He looked as tired as Teddy was. Tired and cold. Boss, though, was his usual self, straining against the leash to sniff his feet. "Fuck, sorry," he said, stepping forward to engulf Young Bae into a bear hug. "I fell asleep."

Young Bae laughed quietly against his neck as he wrapped his arms around his waist. "It's okay. Are you going back to bed?"

"Nah, not yet. You want tea or something?"

He nodded, so Teddy gave him a little push toward the couch before walking over to the kitchen. The box of tea was as dusty and ancient-looking as he'd imagined. He'd been a little scared that he'd see the words "barley tea" written neatly in marker on one side, but from the looks of it, it had been bought after Perry had mastered hangul, at least.

He went back to the living room, holding the two mugs gingerly, and found Young Bae sprawled on the couch, playing fetch with Boss using a small red ball. He narrowly avoided stepping on the dog and somehow managed to put the mugs down on the coffee table without spilling any tea. "At least one of us ain't tired," he said over the barking and scrabbling noises as he sat down next to Young Bae.

"Mm? ... Oh, Boss. Yes." He yawned, then slouched down further and leaned against Teddy. "What did you do today?"

"Just worked on some beats. And uh, I had dinner with Danny. Wanted to tell him what's going on."

Boss hopped up and put his front paws on Teddy's knee, panting around the ball in his mouth. He took it from him and bounced it off a wall, sending it rolling into the kitchen. Boss tore off after it.

"You told him you're gay?" Young Bae finally asked, looking up at him.

"Bisexual," he corrected automatically, then tried to remember what the hell the Korean term was.

"Bisexual," Young Bae parroted before he could think of it, his pronunciation and inflection flawless.

Teddy laughed. "Yeah. Well, I told him we're dating. I didn't wanna hide that kinda thing from him, you know? He's my best friend, so..." The words sounded hollow even to his own ears. No use trying to hide what had happened from Young Bae. "He kinda freaked out, but he's gonna get over it."

Boss, having apparently given up on them, settled down at their feet, chewing on his ball. Young Bae leaned forward to grab his tea and watched him for a moment. "You're still talking, right?"

He wasn't even sure. They'd parted at the subway station with awkward "see you"s, and after the way Danny had reacted at Jacoby's, Teddy wouldn't be calling him up anytime soon. "Yeah. He's gonna show up in a few days and pretend nothing happened, I bet." That was what happened whenever Danny did something retarded and didn't want to apologize for it. Teddy still hadn't made up his mind as to whether he'd accept the usual half-assed olive branch of a movie ticket or a cheap dinner.

"Did you hide it from him when you had boyfriends before?" Young Bae asked, offering him the other mug.

Teddy blinked at him as he took it. "How many boyfriends d'you think I've had?"

"... I wasn't sure." He leaned against him again, and Teddy moved his arm out of the way in time to put it around his shoulders and pull him a little closer. They sipped their tea in silence and Boss eventually moved to his blanket, abandoning the ball. Watching him fall asleep was enough to make Teddy sleepy again, and Young Bae was leaning against him a lot more heavily by the time they both emptied their mugs.

"Can I stay for the night?" he asked quietly.

"Yeah. You ain't got anything scheduled tomorrow morning?"

Young Bae shook his head and handed him his mug before standing up, heading to the bathroom. Teddy considered taking the couch for a moment, but dismissed the idea when Young Bae came back out and looked at him. "Which side of the bed do you sleep on?"

"Doesn't matter. I'll be right there." He took the mugs to the sink, then joined Young Bae in his room. He hadn't bothered to turn on the lights - he was silhouetted against the window as he took off his jeans, his t-shirt already on the floor. Teddy let his eyes linger over him as he unzipped his own hoodie.

He reached for Young Bae once they were under the covers, wrapping one arm around his waist to pull him close. Young Bae's fingertips found his jaw, then his lips, and he gave him a soft, lingering kiss before resting his head on the pillow. Teddy smiled to himself and closed his eyes.

***

When he trudged into the kitchen, too many hours later, Young Bae was already very awake, sitting at the table with his nose in _The Catcher In The Rye_ and a bowl of something hot at his elbow.

Teddy walked up behind him and wrapped his arms loosely around his shoulders, leaning in to kiss him on the temple. "Hey. Whazzat?"

"Chazuke." He smiled up at him. "I'll make you some."

Teddy gave him a squeeze before letting him up and giving the bowl a closer look. There were bits of fish floating in something yellowish, and rice at the bottom... His brain finally tracked down the word, or at least the first part of it, and he blinked as he straightened up. "Is that just rice and tea?"

"And salmon," Young Bae said as he cracked open a small can. "It's good. Our manager in Japan makes it for us sometimes."

"Oh. You went to the store?" He could imagine cans of salmon sitting around somewhere, but he was pretty sure there hadn't been any green tea in the apartment when he'd gone to bed the previous night.

"Yes. And I did some cleaning. I wanted to vacuum, but you were asleep, so..." He looked down at Boss, who was staring up at him expectantly, and dropped a tiny piece of salmon. Boss snatched it up before it reached the floor. Not that it mattered much, considering the state of the floor - vacuuming did sound like a good idea.

"Thanks. I'll do it today."

The glance Young Bae aimed his way seemed a little dubious, but he didn't comment. "... Oh, and I found some stuff under the couch. There's a keychain and a pen and some picks. I put them on the coffee table."

 _Frigging pens_ , Teddy thought, then decided to get up and investigate, since he didn't remember losing any keys. He recognized the Tinkerbell keychain the second he saw it, though, and tried to ignore the prickle of anger that always accompanied unexpected reminders of his ex-girlfriend as he grabbed it from the table. The keys were still on it.

"YB?" he called out as he walked back to the kitchen. Young Bae looked up from the chazuke he was preparing and Teddy slid the keychain across the counter. "Keep 'em."

"... Okay," he replied after a few seconds, a smile spreading on his face as he slipped the keychain into his pocket. "It's ready."

Teddy took the bowl to the table and Young Bae joined him, setting the book aside to eat. The chazuke was surprisingly good, considering how simple it was. He added it to his mental list of can't-be-bothered recipes. "When are you leaving?"

"In an hour. We have to change the choreography for Where U At so I can do it live."

Teddy blew on a spoonful of tea and rice. "That's gonna take a while, huh? 'Cause I was thinking we could do something tonight, but..."

Young Bae frowned thoughtfully as he chewed, then shook his head. "Tomorrow night? Sorry..."

Well, at least that'd give Teddy some time to cross some things off his to-do list. And think of something nice to do with Young Bae that'd amount to a date but wouldn't get them swarmed by fans.

***

2NE1 brought the usual amount of energy to his studio - they were all smiling as they squeezed themselves onto his makeshift bed. All of them except CL, that is, because she was tugging at the sleeve of his hoodie. "Papa! Dara keeps making fun of me 'cause I have two daddies."

She stood there grinning at him, looking proud of herself, and Dara let out a snort of laughter behind them. Teddy turned his chair around in time to see Min Ji scratch her nose and Bom stare resolutely at the floor, her lips pressed together. "Whatcha talking about?" he asked, even though it was pretty obvious Young Bae had talked to them.

"Oh, come on. Papa Taeyang told us."

"I don't know what you're talking about," he replied, stifling his smile, and spun around again. "You wanna hear the remixes or not?"

"Yes. Don't worry, I still like you." She rested her arms on the back of his chair, leaning in to look at his computer screen.

"Lucky me." He fired up the medley he'd put together for 2NE1's performance at the mnet awards and grinned when CL clicked her tongue and gave him a push. There was a small chance she'd stop flirting with him, he supposed, but he wasn't holding his breath. He'd kind of miss it if she did, anyway.

***

It took nearly two days with no sign of Young Bae before Teddy decided to take a page from his book and show up at Big Bang's apartment unannounced. If 2NE1 knew, so did Big Bang - he knew he wouldn't have to make any excuses for being there.

He didn't even make it into the building, though. "Hyung," Ji Yong called out, his head poking out from around the corner. "Young Bae's out."

Teddy walked over, shoving his hands into his pockets. "Where's he at?"

"Dance studio. I think he'll be back soon." He raised a cigarette to his lips and took a deep drag.

Teddy leaned back against the wall next to him, trying not to think of how long it'd been since he'd last smoked. "Can't smoke in your room anymore?"

"I just wanted some fresh air. Want one?"

And now he sorely regretted bringing it up. "Nah," he said with some effort, looking away as Ji Yong took another slow drag. "How's the promotion going?" A lame question, but it was all he could think of with the smell of smoke hanging around him.

"Good. We just started preparing for the mnet awards. I think you'll win a couple," he said after a small pause, turning his head to look at him.

Teddy smiled. "2NE1 will, yeah."

"Mm. There should be one for producers." He shifted, and Teddy spotted the red and white pack sticking out of his pocket. He smoked Marlboros, too. Damn him.

"Yeah," he replied vaguely, feeling his resolve crumbling. He chewed on his thumbnail for a moment, decided that wasn't going to cut it, and elbowed Ji Yong. "Gimme a smoke."

The knowing, unsurprised smirk Ji Yong gave him as he passed the pack over was a little annoying, but Teddy appreciated the lack of comment. He knew, no doubt, that Teddy was supposed to have stopped. And why.

He handed Ji Yong the pack, took the proffered Zippo and lit up his cigarette. The first puff was fucking heaven. So was the second one. He closed his eyes briefly, savoring it, and opened them again when he heard Ji Yong laugh. "What? 'S been a while."

"I know. He really hates it."

The third drag was just as good. He made a vague sound in reply.

"He looks happy these days."

Teddy looked over. Ji Yong's stance was all nonchalance - he wasn't even looking his way - but he'd spoken in a careful tone that hinted at something more serious. "I hope he is," he said, then added, with a rueful smile, "'cause I don't really know what I'm doing."

"It's not like he does, either," Ji Yong replied as he tapped the ash off his cigarette. He watched it flutter away, carried by the wind, then looked at Teddy. "You're lucky."

"I know." He still wasn't sure how he'd ended up with someone as sweet as Young Bae by his side, but it was a welcome respite from the long string of money-grubbing, manipulative women that preceded him, and Teddy had learned not to question the good things that happened to him. "You okay with it?"

"Yeah, I'm over it now." And he really did sound like he was over it, but Teddy had seen that kid grit his teeth and smile through worse situations. "You look happier, too. I'm glad."

Teddy had been about to say something - without being sure what - when his phone buzzed in his pocket. He took it out, read the message and smiled. "Wanna go have a beer with Shaun and Lyle?"

Ji Yong shook his head and took out a portable ashtray from his pocket. "I have work to do," he said as he slid his cigarette butt into it. "Tell them I said hi."

"Will do. Get some rest, too," he said, clapping him on the shoulder, then walked away and flipped his phone open again to ask Young Bae for directions.

***

The pub was a tiny hole-in-the-wall kind of place, with only a few of the seats occupied by middle-aged men and tired-looking guys in suits. Young Bae and his dancers were sitting in the back and engrossed in an important conversation, judging by the focused frown on his face and the way Lyle's hands were moving as he spoke.

Teddy caught part of it as he walked over. "--phony too!" Young Bae said, then his eyes flicked up and he smiled, argument forgotten. "Hi."

Lyle and Shaun turned his way. "Hey," the latter said, grinning, as Teddy sat down next to Young Bae. "YB doesn't like Holden Caulfield."

"He's a phony," Young Bae said firmly before raising his glass of beer and taking a long drink from it. The pitcher on the table was nearly empty.

Teddy laughed and slid his arm to its usual, comfortable spot around his shoulders. "Didja finish the book?" Young Bae nodded. "He's too nice to get it," he told Shaun and Lyle, not really surprised to hear that his opinion hadn't changed. "Where's my beer?"

He'd intended it as a joke, but Young Bae immediately called for the waitress and asked for another glass. And a pitcher of soju. They were already at the point where mixing beer and soju seemed like a good idea, apparently.

"Ask Lyle if he likes strawberries," Young Bae said, getting his attention with one hand on his leg.

"What? C'mon, you know how to say that."

He sighed but turned back to Shaun and Lyle anyway, looking put-upon. His hand stayed where it was. "Do you like strawberry?" he asked slowly.

"... Yeah." Lyle's face lit up in understanding after a second. "Oh! You ordered that fruit soju stuff?"

"Yes. It's... good."

"Is it strong?"

The waitress answered Lyle's question by setting down four shot glasses on the table. "Ohh, nice," he said when he saw the large pitcher. Teddy considered warning him - the stuff went down like fruit juice, but it definitely packed a punch. He decided, though, that it'd be funnier not to.

***

Teddy hadn't quite managed to catch up with everyone else, but he was still well past tipsy by the time they left the pub. They'd all spent a little too long walking aimlessly in what had turned out to be the wrong direction while having a listen-and-repeat session involving the most useless Korean sentences Teddy and Young Bae could think of.

They'd gotten to "I'm bringing sexy back", which Lyle could now say flawlessly, before finally realizing that they weren't heading anywhere constructive and stuffing him and Shaun into a cab. Despite the wrong turns, the walk back to Big Bang's apartment seemed a lot shorter than it had been when Teddy was sober.

"I'm so drunk," Young Bae muttered as he unlocked the door. Teddy couldn't tell the difference - he looked as focused as he always did, and he'd walked straight the whole time. The door did take a few more seconds than usual, though.

"So," Teddy started, then paused to try and remember Big Bang's schedule. And his own. "... Guess I'll see you tomorrow?"

"What? No," he said, frowning as he looked over at him. "Come up with me." And then he walked in, leaving Teddy little choice but to follow.

The doorman greeted them and Young Bae straightened his back a little and nodded back to him, his expression serious. He relaxed again once they reached the elevator, shooting Teddy a grin after pressing the button. Teddy _could_ tell the difference, now - he looked a little goofier, and the flush on his cheeks was visible now that they were inside.

The grin didn't fade in the elevator, and Teddy raised a hand in warning when Young Bae edged closer. "There's a camera in here, right?"

He blinked, then the serious expression was back on his face, the switch seemingly effortless even with all the alcohol in his system. "Right." The doors opened and he walked out, reaching out at the last second to grab onto Teddy's sleeve, tugging him along. He only let go to dig into his pocket for his keys again.

Ji Yong was still up, sitting on the living room floor with his back against the sofa and most of the space around him covered in papers. He smiled absently and muttered a greeting before hunching over again, chewing on the end of his pen. Teddy tried hard not to look at the pack of cigarettes next to him as he followed Young Bae to his room.

The kiss he planted on Teddy as soon as the door clicked shut behind him was enough to push the sudden cravings out of his mind. A little clumsy, a little too much tongue, and time slowed to a warm, pleasant crawl as Teddy stroked the back of his neck and kissed him back. He heard Young Bae's jacket hitting the floor and a few seconds later his own hoodie was unzipped. He opened his eyes, drawing back slightly, but Young Bae leaned forward, dropping butterfly kisses on his lips as he pushed both jacket and hoodie off his shoulders.

Teddy relented, letting them slide off his arms and to the floor. His hands found Young Bae's hips and pulled him closer, but he couldn't manage much more than that after Young Bae turned his own baseball cap to the side, moving the bill out of the way, and pressed his lips to Teddy's neck.

The first hesitant nip sent shivers down his spine. A low moan escaped his mouth of its own accord, and it was only when one of Young Bae's hand crept down his back and curved over his ass that he realized, through the haze of alcohol and arousal, how far Young Bae had managed to take things in just a few minutes.

"Whatchu doin'?" he managed, feeling like he was moving through molasses as he put one hand on Young Bae's shoulder, pushing lightly.

Young Bae's hand slid back up, but there was mischief shining in his eyes as he looked up at him. "... I'm bringing sexy back," he murmured, then snickered at his own joke, resting his forehead on Teddy's shoulder.

Teddy let out a snort of laughter despite himself. "Nah, c'mon. Don't wanna do it when we're drunk."

"I'm not that drunk," Young Bae tried, raising his head. His eyes weren't focusing quite right.

"Everyone's gonna hear."

That worked - Young Bae glanced at the door, teeth worrying at his lower lip, then finally nodded and took a few steps back toward his bed before sitting down on it. "Okay. But you should sleep here."

Teddy thought about refusing, but that would mean walking back to his place alone in the cold. Easier to let the rest of Big Bang think whatever they wanted to think; they'd be right soon enough, anyway. He joined Young Bae on the bed and leaned down to take off his socks. Young Bae followed suit, shooting sidelong glances at him as he stripped down to his boxers.

Teddy kept his shirt on - he usually did - and laughed when Young Bae gave it a tug, looking somewhere between curious and hopeful. "Hey," he said, smacking him gently on the side of the head. "No sexy business."

Young Bae snickered and leaned in to plant a kiss on his lips before pushing on his shoulder until he lay down. He got comfortable under the covers and Young Bae turned off the light, then joined him. The single bed was a little small for both of them, but Young Bae compensated by draping himself over him like an insistent, horny blanket, sticking his nose under his ear and tangling their legs together. He was heavier than Teddy would've thought, but he remembered something about muscle being heavier than fat and figured that probably explained it. He wrapped one arm loosely around Young Bae's waist and closed his eyes.

"... You wanna do it, though, right?" Young Bae said quietly after a moment.

Teddy smiled and turned his head to nuzzle his temple. "Yeah. When we're alone."

"Okay." He shifted, doing something unpleasant to Teddy's ribs in the process. "... So you don't think I'm pushy."

"No. Get off, I can't breathe."

They settled for spooning, in the end - it probably should've been a bit weird to be on the receiving end of it, with Young Bae's chest pressed against his back and one arm draped over him, but he was comfortable (and drunk) enough not to care.

"You should go out with us again," Young Bae mumbled, his breath warm on the back of Teddy's neck. "Shaun and Lyle, I mean. It was fun."

"Yeah." It _had_ been fun. Like partying with the rest of 1TYM, back in the day, when any small accomplishment became another excuse to drink and celebrate together. The pang of nostalgia was unexpectedly sharp, and Teddy focused on the slow rise and fall of Young Bae's chest behind him, trying to return to the contented daze he'd been in just a moment ago.

"We hang out together a lot," Young Bae continued. "After practice and stuff."

"Mm." He sighed and pressed his face into the pillow. Young Bae kept muttering about his dancers and Teddy half-listened, not even bothering to keep up the mm-ing. He fell silent after a few moments, probably realizing Teddy wasn't paying much attention, and tightened his arm around him.

He'd relaxed again and started snoring softly by the time Teddy managed to stop thinking about 1TYM long enough to fall asleep.

***

Teddy woke up to a loud, sudden bark that sent the primitive part of his brain straight into panic mode. He bolted upright, heart pounding, and looked around for the source of the noise.

"Gaho!" Young Bae hissed from the doorway. He was holding Boss in his arms, and the obvious culprit was standing by the bed, tail wagging as he stared up at Teddy. "Sorry. Boss wanted to come in."

"'S okay," Teddy said, staring dumbly as Young Bae walked in and plopped Boss down on the mattress. He finally recovered from the shock a little and reached up to rub his eyes. "What time is it?"

"Almost one. Does your head hurt? Mine did." Young Bae hoisted Gaho onto the bed, too, and he immediately started walking all over his legs, sniffing around.

Teddy smiled and reached out to scratch his wrinkly head. "Nah, I'm fine. Drink some water."

"I know... Master Hwang said beer's really bad because it dehydrates you. And it's full of carbohydrates."

"You went to the gym?"

"Yes."

Teddy flopped back down, yawning, and narrowly avoided putting his head on Boss. "Does he live there or something?" Master Hwang had been around every single time Teddy had found the motivation to work out in the past few months. Granted, that wasn't many times, but it was a little too easy to imagine the man sleeping hanging by his feet from the chin-up bar like a giant bat.

"I think so," Young Bae replied, grinning as he if could read Teddy's mind. "I'll make breakfast, okay?"

Teddy nodded and, once Young Bae had left the room, spent a few minutes petting the dogs while his brain slowly caught up to his body. By the time he made his way to the kitchen after a side trip to the bathroom, there were already several side dishes on the table. Young Bae caught him by the arm on his way to it and handed him a small bowl of miso soup.

"Thanks," Teddy said, and got a smile in return before Young Bae started poking through the cabinets. He sat down and had time to take a bite of kimchi before his phone rang. Danny. He put down his chopsticks and flipped his phone open. "Wassup?"

"Hey. Wanna go get lunch? Or, uh, breakfast, whatever." Danny's tone was as carefully nonchalant as his own had been.

"YB's already making breakfast." Stating it like that was provocation, pure and simple, but Teddy couldn't resist picking at the scab.

"Oh." Silence. Young Bae walked over and put a bowl of rice next to his soup. "How is he?" Danny finally asked.

"He's fine. Busy, same as usual."

"Oh, good. So uh..."

Teddy let out a silent sigh and rubbed his forehead. The awkwardness was turning out to be too much to take so soon after waking up, and Danny was trying so hard that Teddy almost regretted the way he'd reacted to his invitation. "Sorry, man, I gotta go eat. Call me back later, all right?"

"Yeah, all right. Bye."

Danny sounded almost as relieved as he was to end the call. Teddy wasn't sure how they'd gone from best friends to whatever the hell this was. Danny wouldn't call him back today, that much he knew - he'd be licking his wounds for a little while.

"That sounded weird," Young Bae commented as he sat down at the table.

Teddy simply grimaced in reply and shoved a clump of rice into his mouth. He decided to say something a few bites later, though, when he noticed Young Bae's silence and the way he'd been staring down at the side dishes. "It's not you he's got a problem with, you know. I should've told him earlier."

"That you're bisexual?"

"Yeah."

Teddy had learned to recognize the thoughtful pauses that usually preceded Deep Questions About Teddy's Past. He smiled to himself and looked up at Young Bae after taking a sip of soup, waiting.

"When did you know?"

"Uh..." Young Bae's questions usually didn't stump him like this, though. The first thing that came to mind was Perry's quiet intensity when he'd taught him how to compose, eons ago. There'd been a couple of evenings where Teddy had suddenly noticed how close they were sitting and been unable to _un_ -notice it. Nothing had come of it, of course, but the thoughts that had crept into his mind hadn't surprised him even then, so that didn't answer the question.

Then he remembered being sixteen and getting butterflies every time he spent time alone with his friend Jason, and realized he'd never be able to pinpoint a specific moment. "I dunno. I just like people, you know? I never really thought about it."

"Oh... Okay," Young Bae said, sounding a little hesitant. It was probably hard to understand for anyone with strict preferences, but Teddy had no idea how else to explain something he'd never even tried to explain to himself. He seemed to have given Young Bae some food for thought, though, and a mostly-comfortable silence fell over them as he continued to eat. Maybe that approach would work on Danny. If they ever talked about it again.

***

Teddy dealt with his worries in the only way he knew: he worked. The next two days he spent in his studio, working on various tracks and stopping only to feed and walk Boss, who was once again in his care while Young Bae promoted his new single. Their new single, really. At the crack of dawn he lay on his makeshift bed and wrote raps in his head until he fell asleep. Danny didn't call.

He woke up late on the second afternoon craving cigarettes, as he often did, but a paper bag from Starbucks lying on his desk distracted him just in time. He forced himself to put down the pack of Indigos one of the sound engineers had left behind and bit into his scone as he read the note Young Bae had tucked under the bag.

_I took Boss with me  
I'm free tonight  
Call me when you wake up_

Teddy smiled at the cartoon sun he'd left in lieu of a signature. He finished the scone, put the bag down on his desk, then caught himself and balled it up before tossing it into the trash. After a quick look around he also threw in a couple of fast-food containers he and Kush had left in a corner.

Calling Young Bae, he decided, would have to wait until he'd taken a shower and brushed his teeth. And shaved, he mentally added as he scratched his cheek. He put his shoes on, grabbed his jacket and headed out of the studios, trying to tell himself that he was actually looking forward to the cold autumn air after staying inside for so long.

***

Teddy walked into his apartment and tripped over Young Bae's shoes. He put a hand on the wall to steady himself and grinned when he figured out how Young Bae had gotten in - it was the first time he'd used the key, as far as Teddy knew.

Boss trotted over while he was taking off his shoes. "Hey, doggie." After bending down to scratch him on the head, Teddy checked the kitchen. No sign of Young Bae.

The bathroom door was open and the light off, so he tried the bedroom. Young Bae was curled up on top of the covers, still fully dressed, and didn't move a muscle when the door creaked open.

"YB," he said quietly as he stepped inside. He was dead to the world, though, and didn't even react when Teddy sat down carefully on the edge of the mattress. There were a few things on the night stand that hadn't been there before - Young Bae's phone, a Bible (Korean-English, Teddy noted amusedly), and... the Tinkerbell keychain had been replaced by a small teddy bear wearing a red hoodie.

Teddy snorted to himself and stood up again, heading to the bathroom. He took a long shower, staying under the spray until he'd scrubbed away the smell of two days in the studios and other people's cigarettes (he'd only given in once and stolen a puff from Kush the previous evening). The sun had set by the time he went back to his room for clean clothes. Young Bae was still asleep, so he sorted through the nearest pile of clothes in the dark, which would've been easier had the bedroom not escaped his and Young Bae's cleaning efforts.

He'd pulled on boxers and a pair of jeans when he heard rustling behind him. He rifled through the pile again - boxers, socks, more jeans...

"Hi," Young Bae said sleepily. Teddy gave up on his search for a t-shirt and turned to face the bed.

"Had a good nap?"

"Mm." He sat up slowly. "Is that a tattoo?"

"Yeah." Teddy sat next to Young Bae, who turned on the small light on the night stand. He reached over and turned it back off. It took a few seconds before the bright spots faded from his vision and his eyes adjusted to the darkness again, but when they did, Young Bae was grinning at him. "What?"

"You're really shy." He touched Teddy's chest, his hand brushing over the inked character before dropping back to his side. "Is it hanja? It looked like hanja."

"Yeah, it is."

Silence. Young Bae's hand moved toward him again, but he stopped himself and ran it through his own hair instead. "... There's a rehearsal for the mnet awards tomorrow."

"Yeah?" Teddy put his hand on Young Bae's knee, and that seemed to break the slight tension - Young Bae's hand covered his and he started playing with his fingers, somewhere between idle and nervous.

"We'll be really busy after tonight. Ji Yong and me and 2NE1, I mean."

He smiled at the obvious underlying message. "I know." He leaned forward and kissed him softly. Young Bae parted his lips and slid his hand up, grasping Teddy's forearm as if to keep him there, and the restrained eagerness in his movements sent a shiver of pleasure down Teddy's spine. Young Bae wanted him just as much when he wasn't hammered, apparently.

Still, they sat there kissing for a long time, Young Bae holding onto his arm and Teddy's hand still on his knee. It was Young Bae who broke away, slid his hand down to his wrist and pulled, looking at him silently. Teddy pushed on his shoulder and a moment later he was lying comfortably on top of Young Bae and they were kissing again.

It was refreshing, Teddy reflected as he brushed his lips along the line of Young Bae's jaw, not to have to wonder how turned on his partner really was. He bit his earlobe gently, gave the stud in it a playful tug and Young Bae's fingertips pressed into his back as he arched up against him, his erection warm against Teddy's hip even through the layers of denim.

Teddy ran his tongue along the whorls of Young Bae's ear, found the tiny indent of an old piercing and nipped gently again. Young Bae rolled his hips, a low moan escaping his lips as he rubbed against him. He smoothed his palms down Teddy's back, keeping up the slow grinding, and Teddy made his way down to his neck but paused when Young Bae grabbed hold of his ass.

In the end, though, he ground back against Young Bae, felt his fingers clench and heard him hiss softly, and decided he'd manage to get used to it. They settled into a slow rhythm, Young Bae's head tilted back as Teddy kissed and sucked at his neck. His shirt got in the way; Teddy pulled it up clumsily, raising his head, and Young Bae tried to sit up at the same time.

The ensuing bonk rattled his teeth. He pressed a hand to his forehead with a snort of laughter, more amused than in pain, and silenced Young Bae's wide-eyed apologies with a kiss. Young Bae smiled into it, then rolled them over, pushing Teddy onto his back before moving away to take off his clothes.

Teddy simply lay there, taking in the efficient grace of Young Bae's movements until he turned to him again, kneeling on the mattress. He braced one hand next to Teddy's head and leaned down to mouth at his neck, his other hand trailing down his chest slowly. Teddy managed to reach for him despite the sudden distraction, but he only had time to brush his fingertips over neatly-trimmed hair before Young Bae scooted back.

He raised his head, curious, but let it drop again when Young Bae started rubbing his erection through his pants, hesitantly at first and then more firmly. Teddy arched encouragingly into the touch, and seconds later Young Bae was tugging his jeans and boxers off. He kicked them off the bed, reached for Young Bae again and managed to stroke the side of his thigh lightly. "C'mere."

"No, wait."

And then there was warm suction on his cock that made his spine curl and his mind go blank, and both his hands were in Young Bae's hair before he fully realized what was happening. He raised his head and watched - as much as he could, anyway - but Young Bae looked up, then pulled away, his teeth glinting in the dark. "Don't watch, it's embarrassing."

Teddy wanted to disagree, but he also wanted more, so he obeyed, caressing the shaved sides of Young Bae's head as he started licking and sucking again. He was a little too slow and a little too careful, but when Teddy pushed up he caught on and sped up, stroking the base of his cock with one hand.

Teddy lasted an embarrassingly short time. He managed to choke out an incoherent warning, at least, which was mostly English but still did the job. Young Bae pulled away and stroked him through his orgasm, and when Teddy raised his head, this time, he was looking back at him.

He gave Young Bae's hair a little tug, refusing to feel embarrassed, and gave him a short kiss when he crawled up to lie down on top of him. He was too out of breath to do much more, but Young Bae just buried his head in the crook of his neck, his erection pressing into Teddy's stomach, the feel of it shiveringly intimate now that there were no clothes in the way.

"That was awesome, YB," he managed to say once he could think (and breathe) again.

Young Bae laughed quietly in reply. "Really?"

"Yeah." He ran his hands down Young Bae's back, stroked the base of his spine slowly, and felt him shift a little.

"I just watched a lot of videos and stuff," he muttered, and the thought of Young Bae watching porn and thinking about him was enough to make his cock twitch half-heartedly. He ran his hands down to Young Bae's ass, turned his head to bite at his ear again, and was rewarded with a hitch in his breath and a small, hesitant thrust against the slippery mess on his abdomen.

He squeezed encouragingly and slid his hands back up, thinking, as Young Bae rubbed against him, that he'd be happy to let him do that all night long. It was only when he let out a low, choked moan and grabbed onto Teddy's shoulder that he shook himself out of his post-orgasmic daze.

"Hey, hold on," he murmured, then rolled them over (with some difficulty - he really was heavy) and reached for his erection. Young Bae kissed him, his fingers clenching on Teddy's shoulder and his tongue sliding into his mouth, the neediness of it almost surprising him. He stroked a couple of times, experimentally, and decided from the breathless moan and clumsier tongue against his that he really couldn't be that bad at it.

Neither of them could focus on the kiss for much longer, and Young Bae was mostly just panting and moaning into his mouth by the time Teddy figured out a good rhythm. He made up for it by nudging Young Bae's chin up with his nose and sucking at his neck, smiling to himself at the way he dug his nails into his shoulders in response.

He'd just settled on not chickening out and returning the blowjob when Young Bae stiffened against him. His hips jerked up once, twice, and then Teddy's fist was slick with come as he kept stroking him slowly, only stopping when Young Bae relaxed and the moans subsided. He slid his hand up, raised his head, and Young Bae kissed him again, slow and content now, his heartbeat returning to its normal rhythm under Teddy's palm. Best ten minutes of sex he'd ever had, he thought, then had to smile again.

"What?" Young Bae asked against his lips, smiling too. Teddy shook his head and rolled onto his back with the intention of grabbing tissues to clean up. Young Bae rolled with him, though, and flung an arm over him, settling into what had obviously become his favorite position to be in, half on top of Teddy with his head on his shoulder and his nose against his neck. Teddy wiped his hand on the sheets, unable to care if Young Bae didn't. He could just change them in the morning. Or eventually, anyway.

"Teddy?" Young Bae said quietly a few minutes later. He'd already been dozing off - he grunted in reply and opened his eyes. Young Bae raised himself up on one arm and stretched the other one out. Teddy anticipated the action, this time, and managed to close his eyes before he turned on the light. "Oh, 'music'," he read, then turned it off.

Teddy mmhmed in confirmation and wrapped his arms around Young Bae's waist as he lay back down. "'S nothing special."

"You don't like it?"

Teddy mulled that over. He couldn't say he disagreed with the sentiment behind it, but he did wish he'd been a little more rational when he'd had it done. At least rational enough to find a good calligrapher instead of getting MS Gothic slapped onto his chest by a pasty white tattoo artist. He'd been enraged enough that it had seemed like a good idea at the time. "It's kinda cheesy," he finally said, and felt Young Bae shrug in response.

"I think it suits you. Is it old?"

"Yeah. I went with Dan when he got his first one done."

Young Bae was silent for a moment. "... You didn't want to get your last name like he did?"

"Nah. I was gonna get my fiancee's name, but..." Teddy trailed off. It wasn't like he needed to finish that sentence - Young Bae already knew the whole sorry story.

"Oh... Well, I like it," he said quietly, as if that settled the matter. And it kind of did.

***

Teddy woke up with a beat in his head and Young Bae shaking him gently. "Teddy. I'm gonna go walk Boss."

He made a vague noise of acknowledgment and rolled onto his stomach, smiling when Young Bae pulled the covers up to his neck. He lay there for a few minutes, mentally refining that beat, but had to get up once the rest of him woke up and he realized how much he needed to use the bathroom. He pulled on some clothes and went straight to his computer afterwards, and he was still puttering around with Garage Band when Young Bae came in.

"I thought you'd stay in bed," he said as he bent down to unclip Boss's leash.

"I came up with something." It looked like Young Bae had every intention of going straight back to bed, though, if the rumpled clothing and tousled hair were any indication.

The way he took off his t-shirt right after his jacket was a bigger indication. He walked over to Teddy's desk, shirt held loosely in one hand, and sat on the arm of his chair, looking at the computer screen. Teddy played the short loop, got a silent nod of approval in response, and then Young Bae stretched out lazily in a way that must have been calculated to show off his muscles.

Teddy could take a hint - he closed Garage Band, smiling, and turned his head to press a kiss to Young Bae's shoulder. "I'm done. Just lemme turn it off." He closed the rest of the programs he'd opened - e-mail, web browser, his messy list of things to do - and finally shut down the computer. Young Bae was fidgeting, toying with one of the books on his desk with his free hand.

"Oh, those are yours, by the way. If you want 'em."

"I thought so. Thanks," Young Bae replied. "I'll check them out later."

Teddy took that hint too and wrapped his arm around him, craning his neck to kiss the underside of his jaw. Young Bae's hand came up immediately, caressing the back of his head, so Teddy explored that spot for a while, kissing and nibbling until he heard the rustle of Young Bae's t-shirt falling to the floor. He grinned at that and worked his way down. A gentle bite at the base of Young Bae's throat drew a shuddering breath from him, and Teddy's quick glance downwards confirmed how much he was liking it.

 _Lights on_ , he thought as his eyes lingered over Young Bae's torso, over the smooth skin and the erect nipple he could see from this angle... and that was as far as he got into that train of thought, because Young Bae's cell phone rang, the upbeat ringtone sounding faintly from the bedroom.

Young Bae was still for a second, then sighed and got up. Teddy followed him to his room - they'd been heading there pretty fast, anyway - and slid his arms around Young Bae's waist from behind as he grabbed his phone from the night stand. "It's Ji Yong," he said, smiling at him over his shoulder. "Hello?"

Teddy rubbed Young Bae's stomach absently, but stopped when he felt him tense up. "Who? ... What happened?" He let go and Young Bae sat down heavily on the bed, frowning. "Where are you? Are you alone?"

This didn't sound good. Young Bae hung up after a terse "I'm coming" and stood up again, looking at him. "Kim Daul died. I have to go."

Teddy couldn't do much more than blink as his brain tried to track down the name. It finally hit him - the model, that pretty girl with the blog and the sharp tongue - and he felt a twinge of regret at the news, even though he'd never met her. "What happened?" he asked, watching Young Bae pick up one of his caps at random. He had a feeling he already knew the answer.

"She was alone in her apartment. I think... she probably killed herself."

Teddy nodded. He trailed after Young Bae as he retrieved his shirt from the living room, considered asking whether he should go with him, but thought better of it. Ji Yong wouldn't want him around while he was in... whatever state he was in.

"Can you take care of him?" Young Bae asked, putting on his jacket - Boss had trotted over to sniff around, intrigued by the sudden activity.

"Yeah, of course. You take care of GD, okay?"

Young Bae nodded, checked his cell phone, then stepped forward and hugged Teddy, his arms tight around him. Teddy returned it, then stood in front of the door once Young Bae had left, wide awake at almost one in the morning and not really in the mood to compose.

Boss was sniffing at his sneakers, now. One of the expensive pairs. Sighing, Teddy bent and picked up his red ball from the floor. "C'mere, doggie."

***

About an hour later, Teddy was walking down the sidewalk, carrying a paper tray laden with cups of coffee. Young Bae had texted him to say that Ji Yong had asked why Teddy wasn't with him, and that message had been followed by a request for coffee ("3 regular ones and smthng sweet for jiyong... if ure coming") while Teddy had been pulling on some decent-smelling clothes. Good thing he already knew which coffee shops in the area were open past midnight.

The small group huddled on the sofa in Big Bang's apartment wasn't what he'd expected - Ji Yong, obviously a mess, was sitting with Gaho on his lap and Young Bae next to him, but Seung Ho and Hyun Jung were there too. It was strange to see both Ji Yong and Seung Ho like this, haphazardly dressed, puffy-eyed and grieving openly. The sight made him feel out of place as much as it made his heart heavy, and for a second he wondered what he was even doing there.

Ji Yong welcomed him with a shaky smile, though, so he stepped forward and set down the drinks he'd bought on the coffee table. "I'm sorry, GD," he said, inadequately, and moved closer to give him a quick hug. That was enough to open the waterworks again - Ji Yong's eyelashes were spiky with tears when he sat back, and his mouth twitched with the effort to stop crying as he petted Gaho.

Teddy squeezed himself onto the sofa next to Young Bae, who was busying himself with the array of paper cups on the table. He kept one eye on Ji Yong as he opened each one, though. He found the mocha Teddy had bought, sniffed at it, then pressed it into Ji Yong's hand.

"Thank you for the coffee," Seung Ho said in a choked voice, his eyes flitting over Teddy's face without ever really looking at him.

"'S nothing."

They sat in silence for a minute, until Seung Hyun emerged from the kitchen with a steaming mug of tea, set it down in front of Young Bae, and claimed the last black coffee for himself before folding himself up Indian-style on the floor. "Thanks," he told Teddy with a small nod.

"It's not fucking fair," Ji Yong said suddenly. "Why isn't it ever the stupid conservatives who kill themselves?"

"Maybe it was an accident," Seung Hyun offered. The looks Ji Yong, Seung Ho and Hyun Jung gave him made it perfectly clear what they thought, but Young Bae cut in before they could start arguing, his eyes dark and serious and patches of stubble burn still bright red on his neck.

"We should pray for her."

Teddy had witnessed Young Bae's ability to soothe Ji Yong with a few quiet words several times in the past, but it never ceased to impress him. It worked again - Ji Yong took a deep breath, nodded, and then they all had their head bowed and their eyes closed.

It took him a second to notice that Seung Ho hadn't joined in. He was eyeing Teddy with faint amusement over the rim of his cup, clearly not into praying either. They both sat in silence, waiting, and Teddy made a mental note to have a drink with him sometime. It was becoming obvious that earning Young Bae's affection had gotten him accepted into some kind of social circle, and he'd spent more than enough time cooped up in his studio over the last three years.

***

Perry's apartment was the place to be for the MAMAs, or rather the place to be for everyone who'd given up on being in the spotlight or were actively avoiding it. Teddy wasn't sure which category he was in anymore, but he felt much more comfortable with a beer in his hand and Jinu's scathing commentary in his ear than he would have skulking backstage to cheer the kids on. The text messages he'd sent them would have to do.

Kush hooted as 2NE1 won their second award for the night. They all finished their beers - Perry's idea, because turning the event into a drinking game made it that much easier to sit through some groups' shitty performances.

By the time they'd won their third award, Teddy was so chuffed he couldn't stop grinning. The girls deserved some recognition, and, well, those were _his_ songs they were performing.

Kush suddenly pointed at the screen, triumphant. "She thanked me!"

"She thanked me first."

Perry laughed and elbowed Teddy, offering him a fresh beer. "Maybe she's gonna go for you when she gives up on Ted," he told Kush, who seemed a little too gleeful at the idea.

"Oh, hey, GDYB's next," Jinu said, and everyone quieted down considerably. Teddy was a little concerned about Ji Yong - he'd looked pretty out of it, sitting in the audience with his face blank and his head nodding mechanically - but his performance, when it finally came, was as good as usual. As good as award show performances usually were, anyway.

Young Bae's turn prompted a round of jabs to Teddy's ribs and catcalls from the peanut gallery. He threw a handful of popcorn at Perry's head, kicked Kush and Jinu, and tried to watch.

"Shit, Dan's gonna look lame if he ever releases that second album," Perry muttered, his eyes on the screen as he picked at the tiny bits of popcorn stuck in his hair.

"Where is he, anyway?" Jinu asked, then looked at Teddy, aiming the question at him.

He had no idea. He'd forgotten he was supposed to care, even, and that sent a vague pang of guilt through him. "... I dunno," he muttered, shrugging. Jinu's eyebrows went up slightly, but he didn't say anything. Teddy went back to watching, simply pretending he hadn't noticed his expression.

He took out his cellphone to text Young Bae after the performance, knowing he'd have a minute to check his messages before he sat in the audience again. Perry leaned closer, and Teddy realized what he was doing a second too late.

"You call him 'baby boy'?" he said, a grin spreading on his face. Jinu started cackling and leaned over too, trying to see.

"Call who?" Kush asked in English.

"Young Bae," Jinu replied through his laughter. "Teddy calls him 'baby boy'."

"Fuck off," Teddy muttered, holding the phone closer to himself to finish the message. He erased the pet name, then frowned, changed his mind, and added it back in. If Young Bae didn't like it, he'd just have to tell him.

"Wait, you're really dating him?!"

There was a second or two of complete silence, and then Jinu started laughing so hard he nearly dropped his bottle. "What?" Kush went on indignantly. "I thought we were just teasing him!"

Even Perry was snickering, now, and it was hard for Teddy not to smile despite the squirming embarrassment. "I'll tell you about it later, man." He put away his cell phone, took a long sip of beer and tried to focus on the show again.

***

Young Bae opened the door, smiled and glanced over his shoulder quickly before leaning in for a kiss. His lips still had the powdery taste of make-up on them. "Didja just get home?" Teddy asked.

A high-pitched squeal interrupted Young Bae before he could say anything. It was CL, unmistakably, and she was soon joined by Dara in a loud chorus of "Teddy-oppa!"s and "so cute!"s that echoed from the apartment and through the hall. Young Bae glanced back again, then pulled Teddy inside and closed the door, embarrassed resignation on his face.

"Teddy!" CL got to him first, of course, giving him a bone-crushing bear hug that Teddy would've returned if he'd been able to move his arms. "Thank you. For the songs and everything." She pulled away slightly and peered up at him, her happy grin turning a little too sly for comfort. "Are you kissing everyone, or...?"

He laughed. "I dunno. Ask YB."

Young Bae looked from him to CL - Teddy could almost hear the gears turning in his mind - then drew himself up to his full height, not that it made much of a difference, and gave CL a mock glare. "No. Back off."

CL burst out laughing but did back off, and Teddy heard her cooing condescendingly ("you're so _cute_ , Papa Taeyang") while he hugged and congratulated the rest of 2NE1. Bom's eye make-up was a complete mess, but she only started sniffling again after Teddy gave her an extra squeeze and a few pats of the back. He probably ought to stop hugging people.

When he finally made his way into the living room, Seung Ri, Dae Sung and Ji Yong greeted him from their spots on the sofa. Ji Yong didn't look the way he should've looked after winning Album of the Year, but he seemed to be doing a little better than he'd had the last time Teddy had seen him.

"I knew you were gonna win, man," Teddy said as he sat down next to him. "You guys watched, right?"

"Yes," Seung Ri replied, then held up his cell phone. "Seung Hyun watched with Nuthang. They say congratulations."

"I'm sitting next to Teddy!" CL called out as she ran over, narrowly avoiding the swipe Young Bae took at her. She plopped down, grinning, and the other girls found seats as well - on the floor next to Gaho, in Min Ji's case.

Young Bae gave CL a very above-it-all look as he sat Indian-style at Teddy's feet. "Are you sleeping over?" he asked, craning his neck to look at him.

"Thought you'd come home with me. I gotta walk Boss, anyway."

"You're not gonna party with us?" Dara asked.

Teddy looked down at Young Bae, intending to let him answer, but Min Ji cut in. "Are we really gonna party? I'm exhausted."

"Me too," Bom said. "And we have a lot to do tomorrow."

Dara tsked. "Fine. You two," she said, turning to Seung Ri and Dae Sung. "You didn't even do anything today, right?"

Teddy tuned out the negotiations and elbowed Ji Yong, who was chewing on his thumbnail with a faraway look on his face. "Hey. Album of the year."

He looked over and pulled his finger out of his mouth, his lips quirking up slightly. "Yeah... Thanks for all the help."

"Wanna come over?" Teddy suggested. It was obvious he'd just sit in his room and wallow all night if he was left alone. He shook his head in reply but Teddy gave it one more try. "Just walk Gaho with us, then."

He hesitated for so long Teddy was sure he'd say no again. "... I don't wanna bother you."

Teddy tried to convey, with his facial expression, how stupid that thought was. Ji Yong blinked at him, then looked away, a real smile spreading on his face. "Fine."

***

Teddy had forgotten how grueling dance practice was. It wasn't like they needed to do anything elaborate for The Leaders - it was mostly just a matter of deciding where they'd all stand on stage, but the kids had seen fit, at Young Bae's urging, to try and teach him some of their more elaborate moves.

He was hopeless at popping and locking, as it turned out. He remembered being an okay dancer in high school, and Perry and Sean had shown him a couple of moves back in the day, but judging from the way Min Ji was cackling and slapping the bench she was sitting on as she watched him, his glory days were far behind him. At least Ji Yong was amused, too. Teddy hadn't heard that kind of belly laugh from him in a long, long time.

"Wait, wait, try this one!" CL said, then leaned back Matrix-style, not even looking like she was straining much.

Teddy stared at her, panting, and simply shook his head. "Forget it. I need a break, anyway."

He walked over to the mini-fridge, wiping the sweat from his forehead, and groaned when he found it empty. Young Bae stood immediately. "I'll go get you something. There's a vending machine in the lobby."

"'S all right, I'll go." He dug through his pockets, looking for change, but Young Bae offered him a few coins a moment later. He took them with a smile and ignored the playful "awww" from Dara as he turned and walked out of the room.

He headed to the lobby and wiped his forehead again. He was soaked in sweat and feeling much older than he'd had when he'd woken up that morning, but after going over the song with CL and Ji Yong, he was actually looking forward to performing. It'd been a while.

He walked past someone - a trainer or something - and was considering the rows of sports drinks and soda cans in the machine when the trainer in question tapped him on the shoulder. He turned and realized it was Jinhwan grinning at him. "Hey. You didn't recognize me?"

"Uh, wow, hi. You cut your hair again," he said lamely.

"Yeah. Can't make up my mind," Jinhwan replied, running one hand through it. "How've you been?

"Good. Working a lot, you know. You still working in that courthouse?"

"Nah, I've been done with that for a while," he said, making Teddy feel awkward all over again. He should've known that. They were group mates, for fuck's sake. "I was just saying hi to everyone. Hyun Suk said you were here."

"Yeah, I'm practicing with the kids." Mentioning practice reminded him why he was standing here in the first place. He turned and popped the coins into the vending machine, then selected a bottle of vitamin water at random before looking at Jinhwan again. "You gonna go see them?"

He nodded. "It's been ages."

Teddy led the way back to the dance studio, unable to shake off the awkwardness, even though Jinhwan obviously didn't care. He felt like he'd been caught cheating on his own group mates, as stupid as that sounded. He'd never thought of himself as anything other than Teddy from 1TYM, and now... and now he was goofing around with his producees in his free time, and it was Young Bae's voice he wrote ballads for.

Once they stepped inside, he let the kids greet Jinhwan and silently tried to melt into the background. Young Bae took the hint and stayed away from him. Teddy would have to tell Jinhwan and Baek Kyoung soon, he knew, but he didn't especially _want_ to, not after finally working up some enthusiasm about performing again. He didn't know how he'd deal with a Danny-style reaction from either of them.

***

"Want one?" Kush offered as he came back from a bathroom break with a brand-new pack of cigarettes in his hand.

Teddy kept his hand firmly on his computer mouse. "No. ... Stop asking, asshole," he added, and Kush snickered as he sat down next to him.

"Sorry, sorry." He lit up and swiveled his chair back and forth idly, obviously in no hurry to get back to work. "Hey, you said you'd tell me about you and Young Bae."

So he had. Teddy sat back and considered getting a snack from the kitchen before launching into that particular conversation, just to replace the nicotine and the feel of the cigarette in his hands. Of course, that way led to madness and to having to jog every single morning just to stay at a decent weight. He drummed his fingers on the arms of his chair. "...Yeah, uh. It's been a few weeks, I guess."

Kush's hearty laugh didn't seem like a bad reaction, all things considered. "Fuck, man! I had no idea. What's he like?"

Teddy blinked. "Uh--"

"I mean in bed. Didja do it yet?"

"I..." He laughed despite himself when Kush elbowed him. "You think he'd want me to answer that, man?"

"Hey, I told you about that girl with the fake tits." He shook the ash from his cigarette into the empty cup of instant ramyun he and a few engineers had been using as an ashtray for a while. "And the Jamaican girl. And--"

"Tough shit," Teddy cut in, loud enough to get his attention. "I ain't telling you." He grabbed his mouse again and tried to do something that looked work-related, but Kush's grin was contagious.

"Fine." He rolled his chair closer to the desk and took another drag. "It's cool, though, you know? I mean, it's kinda weird, but--"

"Yeah. Thanks."

He didn't bring it up again. Teddy made a mental note to be a little more patient with him. And to buy an ashtray.

***

Young Bae was completely useless after sex. After enough of it to satisfy him, anyway. The sight of him stretching and spreading himself out on Teddy's bed, naked and completely relaxed, made it hard for Teddy to talk himself into going to the studios and getting some work done.

 _Ten more minutes_ , he told himself, then got back into bed. Young Bae rolled over and threw an arm over him. "You're not leaving?" he mumbled into his neck.

"Not just yet."

"Mmm." The low, contented rumble made Teddy laugh. Young Bae raised his head slightly, his eyes barely open. "What?"

"Nothing." He pushed Young Bae's head back to his shoulder and stroked his hair slowly, wondering if he could get him to fall asleep before he left. He let out another contented noise and Teddy grinned to himself. "You're just in it for the sex, huh."

It took him a moment to respond. "... The money, too."

"Knew it."

Young Bae laughed, then pressed a soft kiss to his neck, as if to compensate for the joke, and Teddy was slightly surprised to realize that the gesture was completely unnecessary. He knew Young Bae well enough to know he wouldn't have sex with someone he wasn't in love with. The simple certainty of it felt almost foreign to him.

He lay there thinking for a few moments before realizing that things probably weren't that obvious from Young Bae's perspective. "YB. Y'know I love you, right?"

He felt him nod against his shoulder. "... You stopped smoking."

Teddy laughed at the statement, wondering if Young Bae's line of reasoning was anything similar to his own. "Yeah. Love you more than Marlboros, man. That's serious business."

Young Bae raised his head and smiled at him before rolling onto his back, stretching out. "I wanna go to the studios with you," he said through a yawn. Teddy gave him a dubious look, but Young Bae rolled again, got to his feet, and started picking through the clothes on the floor.

"C'mon, just get some sleep."

"I can sleep there," he replied as he pulled on his underwear. Teddy gave up - Young Bae clearly just wanted to be with him, and he couldn't say he objected to that idea.

***

Sound _exploded_ from his computer speakers and he fumbled to turn the sound down, then glanced over his shoulder and cringed when Young Bae raised his head from the arm of the couch, blinking slowly.

"Is it a new song?"

"Yeah, Jinu just sent me the comeback single. Sorry." He rolled his computer chair back and stretched his arm out to run his fingers through Young Bae's mohawk. "Go back to sleep."

He blinked again, then pushed himself up on one elbow. "Can I hear?"

Teddy leaned forward and started the song again, raising the volume back to an acceptable level before rolling closer to Young Bae. Jinu's e-mail had been as lukewarm about Jinusean's comeback as he'd been previously - "its not too bad.. i hope i can pull it off live tho," he'd typed - but the beat was fantastic and even Sean had done pretty good, all things considered.

"It's good," Young Bae said during the bridge, and Teddy nodded in agreement. "... I like the one you wrote for 1TYM better, though."

Teddy made a noncommittal noise. He thought he could guess where Young Bae was going, and he wasn't sure he wanted to have that conversation.

"Did you send it to them?"

"Not yet. ... We could try recording it, y'know. Just the two of us. Mayb--"

Young Bae cut him off. "No," he said, and Teddy was surprised by the annoyance in his voice. "Just call him."

"... Yeah. I will." He stopped the song when it started playing again, then stared at the screen blankly. That had been a stupid idea. He and Young Bae had a few more songs in the works already, anyway, and letting their relationship influence his decisions as a producer sounded like a really good way to get in trouble.

He shook his head to himself and spun his chair to face Young Bae again. He'd call Danny in the morning. "Move over, I need a break."

Young Bae turned onto his side and flattened himself against the back of the couch, trying to make enough room for him. When it became obvious there was no way it'd work, he rolled onto his back again, flipped back the blanket and held out his arms, smiling slightly.

The studded belt he was wearing dug into Teddy's hip and one of his arms was wedged between Young Bae and the couch, but it really wasn't so bad. Body heat and the feel of Young Bae's arms around him compensated for any discomfort, anyway. He'd become used to both surprisingly fast, and the familiarity of it helped him relax much faster than he usually would've after a few hours of work.

***

"--always cooped up here like this."

"Um, you don't really have to worry about that anymore."

Teddy drifted out of sleep to the sound of quiet conversation. He was still under his blanket, with the crick in his neck that usually indicated he'd slept longer than he'd intended, but Young Bae wasn't with him anymore. That had been his voice, though.

"Oh, you met someone?"

And that was Hyun Suk. Teddy kept his eyes closed, curious.

"Yes. ... Well, no. It's someone I knew already. Not from 2NE1," Young Bae added in a rush, and Teddy had to hold back a smile, easily able to guess what Hyun Suk's face had looked like.

Silence, except for quiet, steady creaks from Teddy's computer chair.

"Does this have anything to do with where Boss has been staying?" Hyun Suk finally asked, his voice even lower. The creaking stopped, and the deafening silence that followed had Teddy's stomach clenching in sympathy. He knew it wouldn't be that bad - Hyun Suk clearly still liked Ji Yong regardless of his sexual orientation, and Teddy had heard him give a sound engineer the tongue lashing of his life after a badly-timed "homo bastard" in Perry's direction, back when he hadn't known enough Korean to realize he was being insulted.

"I didn't think you'd turn out that way."

Hyun Suk did have a knack for making innocuous remarks sound horrible, though. "It's not like I want to be like that," Young Bae muttered in reply, and that made Teddy's stomach clench in an entirely different way. He'd never thought of broaching that subject, having simply assumed that Young Bae had worked out his inner conflicts somewhere between kissing Seung Ho and kissing him.

"I know." Teddy heard what he thought was the sound of pats on the back. "Be careful."

He waited until he heard the door close before opening his eyes. Young Bae was sitting in his chair and sighed silently as he stared at the door. Teddy raised his head and that was enough to get his attention - he blinked at him, then covered up the surprise with a small smile. "Good morning."

"Morning," Teddy replied, sitting up a little, and rubbed his eyes before looking at Young Bae again. He was wearing different clothes and his hair looked damp. "Didja go to the gym?"

"Yes. And dance practice. And I bought you breakfast."

Teddy wasn't sure how long he'd slept, but his stomach agreed with the idea of breakfast, anyway. Young Bae grabbed a paper bag from the desk and rolled the chair closer to offer it to him. It was, surprisingly, not from Starbucks. "Do you like croissants?"

"Yeah. Thanks." He sat up, kissed Young Bae on the cheek to spare him his morning breath, and took the bag from him.

"I used your computer to check my e-mail," Young Bae said as he watched him take a first bite of the croissant.

"'S fine." He took another bite and brushed the crumbs off the front of his hoodie. "You gonna be at the concert rehearsal tomorrow?"

Young Bae grinned at him, and he was a little confused as to why until he spoke. "The day after tomorrow. Pay attention," he added jokingly, giving him a push on the shoulder.

Teddy snorted. "Fuck that, you can just be my manager."

"I can't drive."

"My secretary, then. Man, this is good." He took another bite from the croissant, which was just flaky enough, then tore off a piece and held it out. "You want some?"

Young Bae shook his head. "I already had breakfast. I have to go, anyway." He turned to check the clock on the wall behind him. "I have to practice some songs with Ji Yong for the concert."

"A'ight." Teddy crammed the last piece of croissant into his mouth and crumpled up the bag, then stretched his arms over his head. "Mmm... Guess I'm gonna go walk Boss."

"Oh, I walked him earlier. I filled his bowl, too."

"You ever stop moving?" Teddy asked, amused. Of course, taking a breather from the insane grind of gasoo life was what had led to his own inability to get back into the swing of things, so maybe it was better for Young Bae not to follow his example. Not until he got a little older and learned to produce tracks, anyway.

Young Bae laughed. "I can't. And you can walk him again, anyway. He loves going out." He leaned forward and kissed him lightly, then stood up. "I'll call you tonight," he said before walking out of the studio.

Teddy wondered, as he got up to throw away the bag, whether it was possible for Young Bae not to have realized he'd heard his talk with Hyun Suk. It was obvious he wasn't going to bring it up, anyway, so Teddy would have to.

***

"Good morning," Seung Ho said as he stepped into Teddy's apartment, a large tote bag over his shoulder.

"Hey. Thanks for coming." Boss came trotting over and Teddy nudged him away gently when he took a lick at one of Seung Ho's expensive-looking boots.

"It's no problem." His English had a soft, not-quite-Korean accent to it. British teachers, Teddy thought. Or he'd just studied there, maybe. "You're making room for Young Bae's things?" he asked as he unlaced his boots.

Teddy blinked, jarred out of his thoughts. "No, I just..." he trailed off when he realized that the question had lacked any trace of the aww-look-at-them tone he'd gotten used to hearing from CL, Jinu and a few more of YG Entertainment's resident smartasses. "Yeah, I guess that's part of it. Just trying to straighten the place out and stop living in the studios, you know?"

Seung Ho grinned. "I tried that once. I still sleep wherever my sewing machine is."

Teddy laughed and led him to his room. "Well, take whatever you think you can use, man." He gestured to his bed, where he'd piled up a bunch clothes that had been lying around or hidden in his closet. Some of the hoodies and t-shirts he'd only worn once or twice, and he was sure 2NE1 or Big Bang would get more use out of them.

Seung Ho rifled through the pile, eyeing a few items critically before setting them aside. The large t-shirts were for Min Ji, Teddy thought, but it was anyone's guess in whose closet his hoodies would end up.

"You don't want these either?" Seung Ho asked, pointing to a stack of caps on a corner of the mattress. Teddy shook his head and watched him pick through it, selecting a few colorful ones. "CL would kill for your clothes, you know."

Teddy grinned and grabbed a loose hoodie from the remaining ones - something warm and much too big for her, the kind of thing his ex-girlfriends would steal from him and wear at home. "You gonna see her today?" Teddy tossed the hoodie onto the "keep" pile once Seung Ho nodded in reply. "Give her that one. If she's nice."

"Thanks. It's a good... bargain chip." He started folding the clothes with practiced ease and placing them into his bag.

"Wanna stay for coffee?"

He paused, his hand poised over the caps he'd picked, then smiled up at him. "Sure."

***

Teddy tackled the rest of the mess in his closet once Seung Ho left, after a long conversation that had jumped from music to being gay to religion to high fashion, the last of which Seung Ho had somehow managed to make interesting. Then again, Teddy usually liked to talk to people who were really passionate about something - no reason why fashion should be an exception. He suspected he'd be exposed to a lot more fashion talk at that house party Seung Ho had invited him to right before leaving, anyway.

Getting rid of the empty shoe boxes that had been piling up on the floor did a lot of good, although he'd had to leave one to Boss, who was now growling ecstatically as he tore chunks off it, shaking his head from side to side.

The last box he found was heavy and rattled when he picked it up. He opened it and blinked when he saw the piles of letters and envelopes - all carefully hand-picked and set aside to be reread when he needed it. He'd forgotten the box even existed and had stopped adding to it a long time ago.

He sat back, leaning against the bedframe behind him with the box in his lap, and picked up a yellow envelope. That one was from a fifteen-year-old girl from the countryside, saying she'd started rapping because of him. He set it aside, smiling, and moved on to the next letter in the box, this one just a hastily-scribbled note on a folded sheet ripped from a notebook.

_When I want to run away from home I listen to your music instead. Thank you._

He kept reading. Fan after fan who were inspired by 1TYM or found solace in their music, most of whom he'd completely forgotten about. The room went dim and he was still poring over the letters, the half empty box still on his lap, when the front door opened and Boss tore out of the room, sending shredded cardboard flying behind him.

Teddy put the box and the letter he'd been reading aside and stretched out his legs. Young Bae stepped into the doorway moments later, looked at him, then flicked on the light. "Fan letters?" he asked, smiling, as he stepped into the room.

"Yeah."

He stepped on a piece of cardboard that looked wet around the edges, glanced down and nudged it out of the way before crouching down next to him. "Did Boss do that?"

"Nah, I did," Teddy said in English, just to enjoy the confused stare he got in return, then the grin that spread on Young Bae's face once realization dawned. He laughed at the push he received in retaliation, then pulled Young Bae down to sit next to him. "It's all right, I gave it to him. You done for today?"

"Yes. Well, I guess I could practice some more, but..." He shrugged.

He was too tired, Teddy thought, otherwise he'd still be at the dance studio. He reached over and rubbed the back of his neck. "Take it easy. You gotta be in shape for the rehearsal."

"Mm. I think I'll read for a while."

"Yeah, me too." Teddy pointed to the box next to him. "Gonna get through these."

Young Bae nodded, then stood and crawled onto the bed. Teddy heard a muffled thump that what was probably his bible hitting the pillow, and when he glanced over his shoulder after reading another letter - from a guy who'd bought his first drum machine because of him - Young Bae was lying on his stomach with his nose buried in the book.

He couldn't decide how the fan letters were making him feel. Part nostalgic, part sad that most of the fans who'd written them had probably given up on him by now, part looking forward to being onstage again... At least that last one was a good thing.

He finished reading one teenaged girl's detailed account of why 1TYM's concert had been the best experience of her entire life, then sighed and let his head fall back against the edge of the mattress. He closed his eyes, trying to clear his mind of the hodgepodge of half-faded memories the letters had brought on, and heard rustling behind him a few moments later.

"Teddy," Young Bae said quietly, his voice close enough to make Teddy jump and open his eyes. He laughed, his breath tickling Teddy's ear, and put his chin on his shoulder. "Sorry. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, just thinking." He reached up and rubbed the back of Young Bae's head lightly - the novelty of the short-cropped hair against his fingertips still hadn't worn off. "You?"

"Yes. ... Why?" he added, the wariness in his voice just barely perceptible. He could read Teddy too easily. Now was as good a time as any to talk about it, though.

"I heard what you told YG yesterday."

"I wasn't going to tell him about you, he just--"

"I know, I heard him. It's better if he knows, anyway." He kept up the slow rubbing, scratching lightly at Young Bae's scalp and hoping it'd help with the sudden tension emanating from him. "I mean what you said about not wanting to be gay."

"Oh... Well, no one does, right? It's more complicated."

 _Not necessarily_ , Teddy thought, but stopped himself before he opened his mouth. It was a useless thing to say - neither of them was going to move or switch careers anytime soon, and even if they did, Young Bae's entire upbringing wouldn't just conveniently disappear in a puff of pink smoke. "Because of what the Bible says?" he asked, deciding to tackle that part of it instead.

"Yes... Maybe. I don't know."

"You don't know?" Teddy prompted once it became obvious Young Bae wasn't going to elaborate. He was silent for another moment, then shifted and caught Teddy's hand in both of his. It was a little uncomfortable, but Teddy let him play with his fingers and trace the lines on his palm until he spoke up again.

"I don't know what I think anymore. About all the rules. There's a lot of stuff in the Bible that no one really does..."

"It worked for some people back then," Teddy said, choosing his words carefully. "Doesn't mean all of it is good for us now."

"That's what Ji Yong says. And that we can't really know what God wants us to do. ... You don't believe in any of it anyway, right?"

"No." His arm was getting tired. He squeezed Young Bae's hand, then let his own fall back to his lap. Maybe talking about this hadn't been such a good idea - he didn't know what to say that'd be helpful and wouldn't risk hurting Young Bae's feelings. "Did you ever... talk to a priest about it or something?"

"No... We don't really talk to our priest a lot since he went on television and talked about us."

Teddy was just too fucking gobsmacked to say anything, this time. He hadn't heard about that one. Good thing Young Bae couldn't see his face. "Well," he managed, after a deep breath, "it's not like you're hurting anyone. So."

"I know." He let out a deep breath of his own. "I'm okay. Really."

When Teddy turned to face him, Young Bae smiled at him, albeit tiredly. He felt better, as awkward as that conversation had been. Of course, no one would _want_ to be gay in Korea - he should've understood what Young Bae had meant right away. Christian or not, he had a good head on his shoulders. Misplaced guilt wasn't his style.

"Are you going to read all of those?" Young Bae asked, nodding toward the shoe box.

Teddy looked at the pile of letters that still remained, then shook his head. He might as well keep some of them for later in case he got cold feet before the show. "Nah... I need to get this done, anyway." He gestured vaguely toward the mess that surrounded his empty closet.

"Can I help?"

"No. Get some rest."

Young Bae obeyed, for once, curling up with his Bible again while Teddy sorted through his stuff. When he looked up from placing his favorite sneakers into a neat row, though, Young Bae was poking through the first drawer of his night stand.

Teddy watched in silence for a moment. He came up with - what else - a handful of old pens and pencils and random bits of junk, then crawled over and stretched his arm out to toss them into the half-filled garbage bag Teddy had brought into the room. "... What?" he said when he noticed him.

Teddy smiled. "Nothing." They both knew he wouldn't have thought of going through the drawers. No use pretending otherwise. He started hanging up the clothes he'd chosen to keep and Young Bae started rifling again.

***

The concert rehearsal was like any other: People who weren't Ji Yong or staff were just sitting around, freezing and half-asleep for the most part. Teddy was sitting next to Young Bae in the first row, slouched down in his seat with his nose pressed against the thick fur on Young Bae's collar in an attempt to keep warm.

At least it was mildly interesting to listen to the sound checks. It looked like they'd gotten better at it during 1TYM's hiatus, which probably meant Teddy would enjoy a live performance that didn't involve malfunctioning earphones and shitty microphones.

Ji Yong interrupted Breathe yet again to speak to his dancers. Teddy yawned. He'd already said hello to everyone, said a few stupid things for the making-of cameras, discussed his outfit with Seung Ho, and shot the shit with Shaun and Aimee. They weren't even halfway through the show, from what he could tell, and he was already itching to be home. "... Mind if I leave early?" he asked, then smiled when he felt Young Bae jerk under him.

"Um... What?"

He raised his head and repeated the question. Young Bae blinked at him blearily. "Oh... You mean once you've done your song?"

"Yeah."

Young Bae scratched his head, sank deeper into his seat, and shoved his hand back into his pocket. "No... It's okay."

Teddy settled against him again and managed to nod off about four times, despite the loud music, before the staff finally called for him and CL. The rehearsal went well - there was nothing complicated about it - and forty-five minutes later he was sitting in the back of a van, being driven back home by one of Big Bang's managers.

Driving past the drugstore close to his place suddenly reminded him he had a few things to buy. He'd noticed his empty medicine cabinet that morning (Young Bae must have tossed out everything that was past its expiration date at some point), and he needed new razor blades. "Drop me off at that corner," he told the manager, leaning forward to point. "I gotta buy a couple of things."

The guy nodded and stopped the van a moment later. "Should I wait?"

"It's fine, I'll walk. Thanks," he said, then shouldered his bag and climbed out.

It didn't take long for him to find all of the items on his mental list (aspirin, cough syrup, razor blades and a bottle of shampoo) but he walked past a shelf full of facial soaps and it occurred to him that Young Bae could use something to scrub the make-up off his face when he went straight to his place after performances. He knew Big Bang always kept some around in their apartment, anyway.

He picked up a bottle, then followed that train of thought to its logical conclusion and added a few more things to his purchases - a toothbrush, another razor, and a bag of honey and lemon throat lozenges he'd seen Young Bae suck on after recording with him. He also tossed in a box of condoms and a small bottle of lubricant before finally heading to the cash register.

He walked home, put everything away, fed Boss, then sat in the living room, feeling oddly accomplished. He had nothing pressing to work on until the concert, and he was pretty sure Young Bae didn't, either. There was nothing but good stuff to look forward to - a night with him, two nights on stage, and then that party with Seung Ho's crowd.

He surveyed the tidy apartment, looking for something to keep him busy until Young Bae came home, and inspiration struck as he watched Boss scarf down his kibble. He grabbed his phone from his pocket and called Kush. Maybe he and Macho would feel like taking a walk.

***

There were cameras backstage, of course, but that didn't stop Young Bae from beaming at him and standing up for a hug when he walked in. He looked pretty sharp in his stage outfit - and so did CL, who waved at him excitedly from behind Young Bae.

"Hey, CL," he said as he squeezed Young Bae, then lowered his voice. "Hey, baby boy."

"Teddy!" Ji Yong called out from across the room, surrounded by a few hairstylists and make-up artists. "Your shoes aren't Lanvin. We need to change the lyrics."

Young Bae stepped back and looked down at his sneakers. They indeed weren't Lanvin, not that he cared much - Seung Ho had just offered him a few pairs to choose from, and he'd picked some nice white ones to go with the rest of his clothes. "It's Yanggaeng's fault," he called back, shifting to show the shoes to the cameraman who'd crouched down in front of him.

He walked over to Ji Yong once the guy got back up, leaving Young Bae and CL to entertain him. "So, you ready?"

"I don't know, am I ready?" Ji Yong repeated to the two girls who were still standing next to him, fiddling with make-up and hair products. One of them smiled and gestured for him to look up, a small brush in her hand.

"We have to do your make-up afterwards," the other one said, glancing his way between minute adjustments to Ji Yong's hair.

Teddy had nearly forgotten. He had no patience for the whole make-up thing, but he managed a smile and a nod. High-definition DVDs meant it was probably a good idea to let them slap some foundation onto him, anyway.

A moment later, he was sitting in the chair Ji Yong had just vacated. Ji Yong was pacing the room, now, occasionally stopping for series of push-ups and sit-ups or to exchange a few words with CL and Young Bae. The distant buzz of the crowd got louder as the minutes passed, and Teddy was a little surprised by how calm he was feeling.

The girls finished making him presentable in time for him to give Ji Yong a quick hug before he was ushered to the stage. The sudden screams from the audience made him smile - the lights had just come on, he guessed - and he sat next to CL and Young Bae to watch the show from the tiny monitor in the room.

Young Bae took up the pacing and exercising after a few songs. CL was a little more subtle about it, but she kept taking slow, deep breaths, and one of her legs had been jiggling for about ten minutes, the nervous body language completely at odds with her skin-tight outfit. "Nervous?" Teddy asked amusedly, nudging her.

She let out a low laugh. "Well, yeah. And." Another deep breath. "I never thought I'd ever be performing with you, you know, so it's... like..."

"Nah, c'mon, stop that," he cut in, waving a hand dismissively even though he felt like he'd just read something from that shoe box in his closet. "Just have fun with it."

And he followed his own advice. By the time he was escorted off stage by the staff, blinded by the lights and grinning from ear to ear, his heart pounding and the chant of his name still echoing in his ears, he had no idea how he'd ever managed to think he didn't belong there.

***

They crammed themselves into a van as soon as they were all mostly out of their stage clothes and had said quick goodbyes to the dancers and staff. Teddy looked on, amused, as CL, Young Bae and Ji Yong suddenly went from babbling excitedly to checking their cell phones. He took his own out when he felt it buzz in his bag, though, and blinked at the number of text messages he'd received.

The "hahahaha teddy you rock so hard" from Aimee, sent right around the time he'd been performing, made him laugh out loud. There were also messages from the rest of Big Bang and 2NE1, and a promise from Seung Ho that he'd find him Lanvin shoes next time.

He mentally sorted through all of the invitations the messages had mentioned - pizza with Seung Hyun at Big Bang's apartment, a sleepover with 2NE1 (that one was probably a joke), drinks with Shaun and Aimee, a blunt with Jinu... 

_Nothing from Danny_ , he caught himself thinking, then gave himself a mental shake and elbowed Young Bae. "Where d'you wanna go?" he asked, guessing that his inbox looked pretty similar.

"I don't know..." He looked up from his cellphone and kicked Ji Yong lightly. "Where are you going?"

"Seung Ho and Hyun Jung's. They bought champagne," he said, grinning, then lowered his head again, fingers already typing away. "I'm gonna ask Seung Hyun if he wants to come. Justar's gonna be there, too. And--"

"Oh, they're roommates?" Teddy asked, his brain-to-mouth filter failing him. All three of them blinked up at him and then he felt like an idiot.

Young Bae spoke up first, with his usual diplomacy. "They live together."

"You didn't know?" Ji Yong added, eyeing him.

Well, at least he was part of the special gay club, now. He shrugged helplessly and Young Bae moved on, saving him again. "Can we just go to your place?" he said in answer to Teddy's earlier question. "We can party tomorrow."

A typically mature decision on his part, although Teddy had a feeling he might have some ulterior motives. "Sure. Sorry, GD," he added, but Ji Yong waved off the apology, typing on his phone again.

"Can I have a drink with you guys before I go home?" CL asked Ji Yong, who nodded distractedly and twisted around to tell his manager where to take them. "Champagne go go go!"

***

Teddy lay spread-eagled on his bed, sweat cooling on his skin, and smiled as he watched Young Bae stumble off to the bathroom, equally sweaty and panda-eyed from his smeared make-up. He'd had some very clear ideas on how to burn off the excess energy from his stage high. Good thing Teddy had managed to stop smoking, at least for now - he wasn't sure he would've been able to keep up otherwise. The condoms had been a good call, too.

He cooled off after a minute or two and got comfortable under the covers. The next thing he became aware of was Young Bae sliding an arm around him and nuzzling his way to his usual position. Teddy turned his head toward him and caught a whiff of soap and toothpaste.

"Thanks," Young Bae said quietly.

"Mm?"

"For the toothbrush."

"Oh... 'S nothing." He reached up to run his fingers through Young Bae's mohawk and blinked at the dampness of his hair. He must have drifted off. "Didja take a shower?"

"Mmhm."

Teddy lay there, listening to Young Bae's slow breathing and feeling increasingly gross. He didn't _want_ to take a shower, but he wouldn't want to snuggle up to someone who still smelled like concert and sex, either.

He sighed and pushed on Young Bae's shoulder gently. "Get off, I'll be right back."

Young Bae made another vague noise and shifted off him, burying his face into the nearest pillow instead. Teddy took a quick shower - as quick as he could make it considering the fact that standing upright was becoming a challenge, anyway - and stepped back into the bedroom just in time to hear the dull rattling noise of his cell phone vibrating on the night table.

He picked it up, glancing at Young Bae, but that hadn't been anywhere near loud enough to wake him up. "How did it go?" the message said, and the sender made Teddy do a double-take. He stood still for a moment, a dozen possible replies fighting each other in his mind, then headed to the living room, not wanting to risk bothering Young Bae with the clicks of the keypad.

He sat on the couch, towel still around his hips, and looked around the dark, neat room as he thought. He wasn't going to apologize to Danny - he had nothing to apologize for - but... the whole thing had gone on for long enough. As much as he liked the way his relationship with Young Bae had deepened some of his friendships with other people from YG, nothing would ever beat hanging out with his group mates.

He finally started typing, realizing he'd already taken his decision. _good. turn on your computer, i'm emailing you something._ Once the message had been sent, he flipped his cellphone closed and moved to his desk.

The blank e-mail he pulled up had been sitting in his account for over a week, file attached and ready to go. He added Jinhwan and Baek Kyoung to the list of recipients, typed something without thinking too much about it ("new song. you guys still in?"), pressed "send", and turned off his computer again.

At least it was out of his hands, now. He checked his phone again, sat in the dark for a minute or two, then shook his head to himself and simply turned that off, too. Whatever reply he got could wait until morning.

He walked back to the bedroom, smiling when he heard Boss padding along behind him. He hoisted him up onto the bed and dropped his towel to the floor before lying down next to Young Bae. The movement woke him up just enough to squirm closer and throw one arm over Teddy. He relaxed into sleep again before Teddy found the words to thank him.


End file.
